Martinis (or) Crutches you Can't Get from a Walk-in Clinic

[vergiliad]

It is a very, very sad fact - and perhaps an under-appreciated one - that the scenario presented in Planet of the Apes is not so far-fetched as one might think.  While I will concede that most research zoologists I have met are human, I am now convinced that all hotel billing departments are run by monkeys.

Martinis.  Why do we not have them at my

Comments

[thegreatape]

On a totally related note, there's beer in the fridge where I work.

[vergiliad]

Oddly, my office is chock-full of booze. It's "for emergencies," apparently. I don't know what kind of emergencies. I may have one someday, though...

A.

[kitsunedo]

Personally, I'm gunning for either raccoons or bears. The only disadvantage for both of those is a certain lack of social structure, but monkeys have a long way to go too. Really, I'd bet on raccoons. They've already got thumbs, they are nominally social, and they're devoted omnivores, while also not being the biggest dog in their ecosystem. Really, bears and monkeys aren't going anywhere, because there isn't a lot of evolutionary pressure to change. (Once humans are removed as a threat, that is.)

I'm sorry. I've had one of those aforementioned martinis. Besides, don't the guys behind the concierge desk look more like raccoons than monkeys? With those eyebags?

[vergiliad]

I associate raccons with riffling through the garbage, and with washing fish. I'm not sure hotel employees do either of those things (though I certainly hope they do the latter).

Hrm. What's an animal that's bureaucratic, earnest, and utterly inefficient? Maybe a retarded honeybee?

A.

[howulovinthat]

Interesting thesis. Discuss and prove. Either the monkeys or the martinis...

miss u

[vergiliad]

I miss you too!

I was just talking about you the other day. I told a friend she had "ho activities, with ho tendencies, and ho energies," and I thought of you. I was like, "I have a friend who can do this whole song from memory. He's awesome..."

A.