Tell people obsessed with X factor that you wanted Rage Against the Machine to be no. 1 last year. Or murder their children - same effect.

Why can't I buy just a single pack of smarties anywhere!?

So I was just putting the bin out (be it later than normal), and a police car rushes from round the corner and puts a spotlight on me. A voice from the car asks me what i'm doing and where I live. "I live there." I said to the voice, pointing to the house what i'm standing in front of. "Come here please", "Are those your house keys" says a little ( Read more... )

I just listened to Johnny Vegas on desert island discs. Twice.

Turns out Will Ferrell isn't funny, witty or interesting. Who'd have thought it for such a mainstream comedian?

Watching Editors play live has instantly reminded me why nobody likes them.

Is it possible to play any videos on a sony walkman? NO is the answer to the question.

Today I had my annual haircut. The barber's breath smelt of roast potatoes... which makes sense I spose. Before this I went into a branch of Natwest and had a right go at them. They are trying to charge me £20 for a 3p (yes 3x1p coins) overdraft. The bloke said to phone a number and gave the phone to me. I said Can I do it here. He said Yes. He ( Read more... )

I'm shocked, appalled and satisfied that there's a swine flu department on the boots website.

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