Title: When You Say Nothing At All
Author: vfic83
Rating: R
Fandom: Hikaru No Go
Pairings: Kaga/Tsutsui
Length: Word Perfect says 1567
Disclaimer: Hikaru No Go, unfortunately, definitely does not belong to me.
Spoilers: None
Summary: Kaga is very easily distracted.
Warnings: Some het with a miscellaneous female OC that I didn't even bother to name. The 'R' is for the het, and for language.
A/N: The first part of this has already been posted
here as a drabble for
ai_ling, but it kept threatening to be fic, so this is the "extended version" of sorts. It still feels like I can do more with this, though... *sigh*
Fuck. What the hell am I doing?
That, unfortunately, remains to be seen. Kaga's actually sitting in class, for some reason he still doesn't get, and instead of leaning back and looking bored, his gaze keeps drifting over to the other side of the room.
God, doesn't that kid ever relax?
No. No. He's not thinking about that. He's not thinking about how Tsutsui looks right now, frantically scribbling down what the teacher's saying like it actually matters, his forehead a little wrinkled from the effort of writing and listening at the same time. And he's definitely not thinking about the face the other boy would make if he went over there and shoved his tongue into Tsutsui's mouth-
Fuck this, I need a cigarette.
Kaga's hot and horny as hell and blushing, and he doesn't blush, god damn it. So he gets up and starts to leave. He pays no attention to the teacher, who's sputtering and telling him to get back into his seat, as if, but he can't stop himself from giving the quiet boy on the other side of the room a quick wink before making his exit.
***
He doesn't even know her name. Not like he gives a shit or anything, but all of a sudden he thinks it's kind of weird to have some random girl sucking his dick without even knowing her damn name. But at least wondering about that is better than thinking about...
Him.
The look on his face when Kaga winked at him like that. The way the other boy flushed furiously and dropped his pen. Just the thought of it is enough to send him tumbling into oblivion, and he has barely enough of a hold on his sanity to remember to not yell Tsutsui's name. He buttons his jeans back up afterward and leaves without saying anything, leaves what's- her- name on her knees with his come still on her lips.
I just came thinking about a guy. Fuck fuck FUCK.
He kicks the nearest wall at that last bit just because it makes him feel a little better. This has happened before. He's thought of guys in a vague sense on several occasions, actually, but this is the first time it's been so blatant that he can't ignore it. The fact is that he's still as uncomfortable as hell, and he thinks that he's probably going to have to jerk off when he gets home. He kicks the wall again.
What right does that bastard have, looking so... god damned innocent all the time? What the hell IS that, anyway? What 17 year old guy is innocent?
***
He hardly ever runs into Tsutsui at school, mostly because Kaga doesn't usually bother going, but of course it figures that the one fucking time that Kaga really doesn't want to see the kid, there he is. Everywhere. He's fucking everywhere, like he has some kind of god damn radar or something, and at first Kaga's glad that the guy hasn't said anything. At first. Then he realizes that this is worse, because Tsutsui keeps giving him these looks like he wants to say something, and they're looks that make him want to shove the smaller boy against the nearest wall and have his way with him, which is so not going to happen. He may not give a damn about propriety or rules or any of that shit, but he knows that doing something like that would get his ass kicked.
"What?" Kaga finally asks at the end of the day when they're suddenly alone and he's sick of the staring. He tries to not sound as pissed off as he actually is and fails miserably.
"What..." Tsutsui says, pausing to push his glasses back up closer to his face. "What was that, yesterday?"
"What the hell are you talking about, kid?"
Tsutsui flushes. "You winked at me."
"So?" Kaga sneers. "Call the cops, why don't you. It was a fucking joke. That class was a fucking joke. Who the hell needs Calculus, anyway?"
He needs a cigarette, badly, but he threw his pack into a bush when a teacher almost caught him with it and hasn't gone to get it back yet.
God damn it.
"I like Calculus," Tsutsui says. His cheeks are still pink.
"Well, good for you. Is that it? I've got a pack of cigarettes waiting for me with my name on it."
A weird expression crosses Tsutsui's face, and Kaga doesn't even know what it is, all he knows is that all of a sudden he's gripping his classmate by the shoulders and sliding a tongue into his mouth. For a second it almost seems like the other boy kisses back, but then Kaga is being violently shoved away. Tsutsui doesn't say anything this time. He just glares and stalks away. Kaga stifles the urge to kick something and heads for the bush where he stashed his cigarettes, but when he gets there, he finds out that the pack is gone.
GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!
***
It's the complete opposite of yesterday. Where Kaga had been trying to avoid Tsutsui and couldn't before, now the damn kid is nowhere to be found. Not that he wants to see him, not really, not after what he pulled yesterday. But he knows he was a major asshole and needs to make some kind of apology. Or something.
Hey Tsutsui, sorry for jumping you yesterday, friends?
Kaga snorts at his own dumb thought and glances across the classroom. Nope. The seat is still empty.
Damn it, where the hell is he?
He finds out that Tsutsui is home sick for the day, and Kaga spends all of half a second thinking about it before he cuts the rest of his classes and heads over to the other boy's house. He can't concentrate worth a damn, anyway.
***
Tsutsui's mother is one of those people that's too fucking nice. In the time it takes Kaga to get his shoes off, Tsutsui-san has offered to feed him twice and has thanked him for visiting five times, and he's about ready to bang his head right into the wall. At least now he doesn't have to wonder where her son gets it from.
Tsutsui looks surprised when Kaga walks into his room. Actually, surprised probably doesn't even begin to cover it, judging from the expression, but he doesn't say anything, just pulls his knees closer to his chest. Kaga sighs and pushes his hand through his hair. Now that he's here, he realizes that he has no idea what to say, not really, so he looks around awkwardly while he tries to think of something. Anything. There are books everywhere. Like that's a surprise. There's a desk with papers strewn across it, as if Tsutsui had been in the middle of something and suddenly abandoned it. There's Tsutsui sitting on his bed, and oh shit, Kaga is not going to think about him in bed. He's not.
"How long have you known?" Tsutsui's asks, voice small even in the quiet room. He's staring determinedly at the geometric pattern on his blanket.
"What?"
He waits, but the other boy doesn't say anything else.
Fucking hell.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Kaga asks again.
Tsutsui scrunches himself up more, if that's even possible, and doesn't respond. Kaga sighs again.
"You know, I'm not as smart as you, so I can't try to figure out what the hell's going through your head without a guide or something."
"How long have you known about me?" Tsutsui says suddenly.
What the fuck?
"You're gonna have to do better than that," Kaga comments, rolling his eyes. He isn't in the mood for guessing games and this is starting to piss him off.
There's a few more minutes of silence, and just as Kaga's about ready to tell him to just spit it out, already, Tsutsui sighs.
"I've... I've liked you for a long time," he says quietly, still not looking up. "I don't know how you found out--"
"Wait, what?" Kaga asks, startled.
"You... you didn't know?" Tsutsui asks. His eyes are wide and he's blushing furiously. "Then why did you... yesterday?"
"I don't know," Kaga shrugs. "Felt like it."
"I thought you were just..."
"Messing with your head? Making fun of you just for the hell of it? No."
Kaga suddenly wishes for a cigarette, if for nothing else than to have something to do with his hands. His fingers twitch restlessly. Tsutsui seems to be waiting for him to say something else, but Kaga just stands there. The other boy should know him well enough by now to realize that he's not going to make a confession like some love sick twelve year old girl who doesn't know any better. Not that there's anything to confess, of course. You don't have to like someone to want to fuck them, right?
He's still trying to convince himself of this as he sits down on Tsutsui's bed and kisses him, soft and slow and so unlike before, and this time, Tsutsui actually allows him to.