and then my life immediately and spectacularly imploded. I've been coming to realize that I am autistic, which has been mind-blowing itself, explaining among many other things, why I'm so dependent on familiarity, routines, and stability, when my landlord sold the house I'd been renting an apartment in.

Housing prices are through the roof, ( Read more... )

It's surreal reading these old entries and all the comments. Each time I've moved on in my life, I've left everyone behind. I never felt socially connected. I'd forget everyone, because I was lost in my own world. It was never about other people or who they were. It was just me and my inability to engage with who anyone was. I wasn't interested in ( Read more... )

So yeah. It's been a while. LiveJournal just sent me an anniversary email, and hey, my account is still here and everything. So much has changed, lifetimes have gone by.

I live alone in Vermont now. I've been here for six or seven years. I've been back on growth hormone for most of that, so my body can finally grow muscle. I train harder than ever ( Read more... )

i think maybe some people are naturally more proactive, while others tend to be more reactive. society seems to encourage proactivity; that is, the will to do whatever we think we should be doing, even to the point that it almost goes without saying that doing anything is better than doing nothing. i don't know, though. maybe that goes right to ( Read more... )

got back home thursday night, after a week in pittsfield. my grandfather passed away, and it was worth all the scrabbling i had to do to make it there for the funeral service. i don't really understand the way that side of the family does things, seemed tacky as all hell, but i tried not to think about it that way ( Read more... )

next step, sorting out my finances to make sure I could afford to fly this weekend, I noticed my account was about a thousand dollars short. Didn't take long to see two pending transfers that weren't mine. I'm lucky to catch it so quickly, but goddammit ( Read more... )

I've been trying to get my act together to take a flight out to Pittsfield this weekend for a funeral, service, whatever, so I had to get my ID renewed, since they may require it at the airport. Went down to the DMV this morning, and pretty clearly stated that I just wanted to renew my ID, but halfway through to process, I'm handed a multiple ( Read more... )

here i am. treading water, just trying to stay afloat. tired. never made it back to the gym. once i went off-track, i just couldn't seem to find the motivation. and i tried, i really did. still paying for it, though. fucking year-long contract. i didn't even blink at the time i signed it, because i never had trouble getting to tsd regularly ( Read more... )

this past month has had its ups and downs. on the upside, jenny's taken an interest in an online game I've been playing, so we've been playing together a lot. I play a cleric, and do my best to keep her alive, while she plays a sorcerer, blasting the crap out of everything. Last night, we even ventured into enemy territory, for some Player-vs- ( Read more... )

class still going well, i'm getting there almost as regularly as i'd like. about two days a week, when i want to be aiming for three. it's just such a hurdle to get out the door every time, but then i always feel good about it when i get back ( Read more... )