I feel that the need to succeed and strive for a better life is not one i would of chose for my self, it was brought upon me for having a beautiful child that i hardly get to see or will get to see that much in the future. I strive so hard trying to stack my brain with programmers and maths that only hand full of the closest friends have done. Yet ( Read more... )

life is full of things to make u regret,suffer,and struggle. i have learned so much and feel like anything possible. but hell i am a lazy bastard. i put off all things for the things i care about. but man i am feeling at a lost for this certain girl. i feel like everything i do or say ends me being emo or a asshole. but she so sweet and wants to ( Read more... )

well ladies and gentlemen i can't say exactly what is going on but i will be leaving again for the great "pond" as we so state it and i will be gone for a while i might not get out of the navy on time or i might get out earlier all depends on my chief. i want to move on i have a great gf now who treats really well and yeah well :) but i want to be ( Read more... )

its been some time when i can look at my self in the mirror and go hey its me. now that i been gaining and losing weight and growing out facial hair and cutting it. its all mixed up. i have no sense of my first name any more. i just hear my last name so much and they short it. its all oh shhhhhiiitt its the riv. when i walk around the ship. i just ( Read more... )

i constantly think to my self how gay this place is. i wonder wtf was going thru my head when i signed some fucking papers. i constantly remind my self i am not crazy. and always wonder how life would be just smoking and toking.can u smell the roses cause i can't but its time for sleep. a very rare ocassion i find my self in my happy place. peace ( Read more... )

it seems another holiday passed with out being with my family. its gets harder every time wondering wtf this so pointless. but we all have to make choices. no one forced to make this choice. but at the same time its been filled with haterd every day. i hate this place so much. like waking up every mourning to work 13 hours and stand watch for four ( Read more... )

well all presence of reality escapes my lifeless soul. i run thru the memories of my mind looking for one dream that seems to be real in mind. i miss the simple things and i hope it all goes back to the same some day. i hope that everything going well with everyone else kinda of tired of waking up every mourning doing the same thing routine of ( Read more... )

their is a time and place for everything. and all i smell is the depression at hand. my brothers that are serving with me. are suffering with grief and disappointment. i salute my brothers in green i salute u for what u have to face. and i am sorry that i am not in a postion to shoot and kill with u. but i have my own deeds to attend to. i fight ( Read more... )

so strange i remember going to highschool trying to date the most out of league girls ever and still getting them. now i am floating around the world thinking is this it. and having to share ever thing with marines who buy out and get us trouble with everything. but some of them are my friends and have great respect for me. its weird how everbody ( Read more... )

i can think about all the stuff i took for granted and the person i was inside was screaming for attention. now its seems i am more focused on getting my car a house and maybe a wife. but right now at this very monument i am focused on seeing land the smell of girls the smell of real food. the smell of flowers when they bloom. the different colors ( Read more... )