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“White Flags Seen Burning At Daybreak”
The Society of Professional Journalists is holding a conference next week. Yours truly wasn’t invited, however. Perhaps the fact that I have zero credibility and make up everything I write is the reason. Perhaps not ( Read more... ) -
“We were all fools and now we have to pretend we weren’t.”
This is going to be my best attempt at piecing together what happened Saturday night at Tien's 21st birthday party. I wanted to do a running diary, but decided against bringing my voice recorder this time, which means that most of these times are estimations. Err, I mean, I don’t have a voice recorder? The things I have no memory of but people told ( Read more... ) -
“I’m about to tell you a story. You already know the beginning and it has no end.”
At the moment, everyone I deal with seems depressed or at least vaguely dissatisfied with life and I’ve taken it upon myself, at least in the context of this space to cheer you up. Here I go ( Read more... ) -
“It’s a mansion built too close to the shore….And here come the waves.”
If rain is God crying, I think God is drunk and his girlfriend just slept with Zeus ( Read more... ) -
“Then we will fight in the shade.”
Trillions and trillions and trillions upon trillions of words have been spoken in the history of humanity, but I’m going to guess this sentence has only been uttered once: “Microbes and You just fucked our couch,” I said to Kirby on Tuesday, February 7, 2006 A.D ( Read more... ) -
“Let's turn on the air conditioner and build a fire”
This is the funniest conversation I’ve had in the past two weeks ( Read more... ) -
“Daylight Robbery”
Your long personal nightmare is over. After not writing anything here for a mind-boggling seventeen days because of concession, Christmas, Civilization IV, being intoxicated, I have returned. Granted, if you consider yourself a fan of the written word, you may see this as the return of your long personal nightmare after a two-week respite ( Read more... ) -
“Maybe the music hasn’t stopped playing, maybe we all just forgot what it sounded like.”
Glad to see all of you are alive and no one hates each other. Well, at least not too much ( Read more... ) -
“After all, how many times can you hold your breath until you lose consciousness?”
First, I just want to get this out there, I may be purchasing a voice recorder and carrying it around with me in the near future. Of course, I wouldn’t tell anyone when they were being taped or if I had it with me at the time, because no one acts the same when they know they are being recorded (which is why reality tv is absurd). Then again, I’m ( Read more... ) -
"There is now, in my mouth, this sharp chain. And it never comes out."
I thought I’d better update before I get my wisdom teeth out in eight hours. Supposedly I’m going to be pretty messed up until Monday. Well at least I have drugs to look forward to. And soup ( Read more... )