Wherein I finally earn a free Hugh Grant

[viking_cat]

Over the past few years I've been honored to officiate three weddings and a funeral. The weddings were all for friends I love, each of whom trusted me not to embarrass them in public (including my best friend from high school, foldedfish and hokulea , and iron_chef_bbq  and her husband.)  The funeral was for a dear friend's mom who passed away unexpectedly.

Performing weddings

Comments

[foldedfish]

Friadoc is overly optimistic; yes, the ceremony should indeed be valid if you're a legally-recognized doer. The issue is whether Mexico recognizes you legally, given that not even all 50 states here fully recognize the ULC. I'm going to bet that the ULC hasn't bothered raising the funds to hire the lawyers to force Mexico to recognize them.

I performed my sister's wedding in the Bahamas, a country that is far more restrictive than the US about who can and cannot officiate a wedding. (I think you have to be a Bahamian citizen to do so.) The solution, which I gather was fairly common in the Bahamas, is that I conducted the ceremony, and then at one point they went over to the side and the Bahamian guy had them sign the certificate. As far as Bahamian law was concerned, he was the officiant and I was just some guy saying stuff; as far as everyone else was concerned, I was the officiant and he was the legal necessity. So if all else fails, I'll bet you can do the same thing in Mexico.

[ellinor]

This is, in fact, how it has to be done in Mexico. My cousins got married there last year, by a minister from Boston (coincidence!) and partway through the ceremony, a Mexican officiant got up and said some things and they signed the papers, and then they went on with the ceremony. It was actually quite nice.

[cerebralpaladin]

I have a vague memory that Mexico uses a sharp divide between civil marriages and religious marriages, where regardless of who performs the religious marriage, it's not legally binding without a civil marriage performed at the town hall or the like. If that's correct, then you're probably all set using foldedfish's suggested work around. You conduct the ceremony, then they go off to a civil servant to get some paperwork signed. (If this is the case, it may be worth considering having the legal ceremony in the US, just for convenience. That depends significantly on the preferences of the bride and groom, though. A lot depends on how much they care about their wedding ceremony being closely tied to the legal act.)

Good luck! I'm sure it will go great.

[selinker]

Is it legal for me to marry someone in Mexico?

Yes, but Peggy will crush your skull.

[wizardru]

BWAH-HA-HAH!

Oh, well played. :D

[viking_cat]

Ha!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRvuXu1_iF0

[wizardru]

IANAL, but I would assume that, at worst, you fill out the paperwork just before or just after the trip. Since the marriage is going to be between two US citizens, a lot of the paperwork is simplified, I think.

Here's an article that I think may help.

[kid_cthulhu]

Nope, no skull crushing. He's already married three others already. It's just one big happy, free-love commune.

I love watching Kev perform these ceremonies. He's both solemn and funny, and does a great job. I'm thrilled my sister wants him to do this. He's known her since she was 11 or 12, so it's pretty meaningful.

[asmor]

What's it like actually running a weddding?

I've been ordained under the ULC for a long time, but did it pretty much just so I could say I was an ordained minister. I don't even know how I'd go about preparing to run a wedding, not that I'd expect anyone I know to ask me to (seriousness and gravitas are not, as they say, my forté)

[viking_cat]

It's like a lot of public speaking. I joke it's more like DMing a wedding than anything else, except you automatically gain initiative. It's also nerve-wracking, full of micro-management of minor details, and really fun.

Rule 1: don't embarrass the bride and groom.
Rule 2: Talk loudly enough for people to hear.
Rule 3: Say the right stuff at the right time, and mostly plan it out ahead of time instead of adlibbing it.
Rule 4: Make sure you talk about what's personally important, favoring both the bride and groom equally.
Rule 5: Make sure nothing can go wrong in the setting or logistics.

If you're performing the wedding you are central to what's going on, but you're not the main show in any way shape or form; your job is to channel your joy in the nuptials in such a way so that the whole crowd can share in it. If you do it right, only your words and homily get remembered and no one recalls what you look like.