Barnaby

[violaconspiracy]

Rebecca had already started lighting the candles for the evening when her youngest, Josiah, arrived home. As he rushed into the house, he brought a gust of wind with him that caused the small flames to dance and sputter.

"Slow down, boy, or I'll have to re-light every candle in the house!" she chided him. But there was laughter in her voice.

"

Comments

[eternal_ot]

An apple pie a day keeps Barnaby away!...well ,well, loved this tale and the twist in the end...Good Job! Well written indeed..:)

[violaconspiracy]

Let's hope he's satisfied with just one a day.

[penpusher]

It's as American as Apple Pie!

This was a fun read but I believed Josiah from the start, so it might have been good to throw people off the scent by giving more reason to doubt him - that he had more of a history of tall tales, that there were logical explanations for the demise of the others, something like that.

Nice!

[violaconspiracy]

Thanks for your comments! I had to try to strike a balance here between telling the story and providing enough background to understand the characters, but not writing an entire novel. It's longer than most LJ Idol pieces as it is. If I were to write another iteration of this piece where a longer format was more acceptable, I may add in more details about Josiah's active imagination or the deaths of the villagers.
In this iteration, I actually expected the reader to determine that Barnaby is a real threat, even though the characters didn't realize it.

[malruniel11]

I still love this story! Apple loving demons are my favorites, though I can't help but wish that Barnaby was a dragon, because it's such a fantastic name for a dragon...

[violaconspiracy]

It would be a good dragon name, wouldn't it? Since Barnaby can change shapes, it's not out of the question that dragon is in his repertoire.

[shimmerdream]

This was an incredible story, I loved it.

[violaconspiracy]

Thanks for taking the time to read it!

[onda_bianca]

An apple pie eating ghost...splendid! Well done.

[violaconspiracy]

It seems a little far-fetched, at first, doesn't it? Actually, I think Barnaby is a demon of sorts, but since he's not always visible, "ghost" is the explanation that made the most sense to Josiah.