I was going to delete this journal and start completely over but I've had it since 2004. Then I thought I would just make all the previous entries private so that when I add new friends, they won't read them and think that's who I am. I was asking Emi for a new username and she asked why I wanted to get rid of this one. I told her what I just told ( Read more... )

It's been a little while since my last update. I began running for a while but then it became less fun. Mostly because our treadmill squeaks every time my foot goes down and it's so annoying. The sound is seriously one of those ones where it starts out not so bad but then after a few minutes you just want to scream. So I quit that. Now I'm doing ( Read more... )

The other day my mother told me she wanted to go with me to buy condoms for myself. I told her I'm not having sex and don't intend to. She told me it was important to keep a few condoms in my purse just in case. I told her that was ridiculous because I wouldn't have sex unless I was in a relationship, especially considering it would be my first ( Read more... )

You wanna know why Kevin is so freaking hard to get over? Because I don't know what was real and what wasn't. It started out where he was telling me to break up with Kyle so that he and I could date. Then I did break up with Kyle (other reasons) and Kevin and I started hanging out but suddenly he didn't want to date because it was so close to the ( Read more... )

I really like working out. Granted this is only day two but still. I like sweating and moving and feeling my body being put to work. Oooh. Sounds like I would like sex. Hahaha. Yeah ( Read more... )

I just finished the first DVD of Carmen Electra's aerobic striptease workout. I basically spent $10 to learn three silly routines. I love it. It's actually really fun and I can feel it in my thighs, which I wanted. Plus dancing in general gives me a confidence boost. And hey, if I ever get a boyfriend... lol. No ( Read more... )

Today I realized that I've been acting as if I'm in an abusive relationship. I'm not, not by any means. But I keep thinking Kevin's gonna change and things are gonna get better and be a real relationship. Yeah, it's not. Hell, I haven't even really heard from him since we left. A few texts and a short, confused phone call? Not good enough.

I'm ( Read more... )

So I've pretty much decided that the most mortifying thing has just happened to me. My mom discovered my hickey. What did she do? Laughed, went to get her makeup, and started trying to cover it up before I could even get over my embarrassment. This is why I love her. But I'm still super mortified.

So I've been reading a bunch of postsecret secrets today. I've kinda been keeping a big one to myself lately that I wasn't ready to admit. Even after Kevin told me he didn't like me, I thought I could change that. Sometimes I still feel like he might come to me in the fall and be all romantic and tell me how he made a mistake. I fell for him hard ( Read more... )

I'm home and already longing to be back at school. It's not that I don't like my mom or chilling with the kids she baby-sits for. But there's nothing to do and I'm not motivated to do anything ( Read more... )