I've gotten some new thinspiration. Melissa and Cathy told me that they heard Calvey and Katia talking about me during drawing class. Katia said something about how I seemed very weight concious, and Calvey said that I was "skinny" or "thin", and that I seemed thinner this year ( Read more... )

All of these things are like bizarre addictions ( Read more... )

<>

Things have been incredibly bad. After a 45 minute conference, during which two vertical streams of black slid steadily down my face, I came back chez moi. Smoked two cigarettes, drank a litre of water, threw up, washed my face, and returned to work. I took an hour and a half self administered break. There was no way I was going to confront ( Read more... )

I hate how women can put up this angry lesbian front, or a corporate front, or a tough front. It's unfair, we're all weak and vulnerable ( Read more... )

I'm experiencing some very strange patterns.

If it turns out I'm pregnant, I won't know what to do with myself.
I don't think I'd tell him.
I do think I'd have an abortion.

I'm really starting to get worried.

part of a muffin- 80
1/2 c cereal- 75
soy milk- 50
toast- 60
pb- 60
jam- 30

= 355

Not bad.
Could be much better.

Addendum:

And then at dinner I fucked up.
tortilla- 80
rice- 100
2 pieces of cake- 400

total for the day= 935

VERY VERY BAD.

Jessie is fucking Kendall. He must have an Oedipus complex. I'm sure of it. How disgusting.

Dear John ( Read more... )

( Read more... )