The subject of love is overwealming. i am experiencing something i dont understand. I dont know what kind of love i want. do i want a bestfriend, a full time partner, a distant lover. i cant do this. i cant be in another co dependent night mare. What does it mean to be stable? I'm so confused and scared. how many insecurities are too many. ( Read more... )

So my school told me i would not be assigned to one particular accademy but all three! OK this means, there are three academies, one for kids who like art and writing, one for kids who like math and science, and one for ESL (english as a second laguage) students. I LOVE THE ESL KIDS!!!! i have worked in all three academies and the ESL is the ( Read more... )

this week has felt long. its been so quiet. i cant wait until the weekend. i went on a date last night. it was good. this guy has a great sence of humor. hes an actor- i saw him in a summer stage play last night. he plays a young adolecent (17-18) that has sex for money. in the first scene he gives a older man a blow job. it was painful to ( Read more... )

im not feeling so hot. i thought that this time alone would be good for me- it probably is. Yesterday everyone left, it rained, and my mother yelled at me for not coming home. I ran into someone i fucked and never called back, i came face to face with my own bastard self. I canceled a date and went home to an appartment thats not mine. I ( Read more... )

i think i know what i want out of my life i just dont know how to reach it. strike that- i have a better idea of what i want- things just keep getting in the way. i keep getting in the way ( Read more... )

i had four friends sing happy birthday to me today. that meant alot. my friends make my life full and meaningful. this time last year i met a friend who helped me start a journey towards self discovery. this year he and many newcomes are here to support me on that journey. Thankyou all for your love. ive come a long way.. thanks for the ( Read more... )

i spoke to a financial consultant today. it was so great. she was like a financial therapist. she was so kind, understanding, supportive and informative. We talked for two hours. SHe works for citi bank, which offers free financial direction called 'Citipro.' they do everything! The figure out smart ways to help you get out of debt, build ( Read more... )

So I have a lot to get of off my chest. I haven’t really written in a journal for a while. I have so much I want to say ( Read more... )

so as you know things keep deconstructing. there was a fight and most of the friends i have are hurt ( Read more... )

things are working out better. me and my new roommate are on the same page. we just want to take care of our selves now. i cant tell you how much of a relief this is. its like we can just work on being stable people. we have a long way to go- we need to end a lease, save money, find a new home and move twice (stuff into storage and then to ( Read more... )