feel like i'm the world's largest door mat sometimes. alone and alone and alone

I feel like since I'm so wondrous at being alone I should start to like it but it makes me miserable. I also can't tell if I'm throwing a massive pity party or if I'm spiraling towards depression. Yay. 

holy crap. signing up for graduate classes makes me feel like this: jfk;ldsa;jfkldsj;fdasklfjdsklfjdsa;jfdskjl;fl;adskfjlkdsjf;kdsajfk;ldsjkfjdskjfds;jklafj;kdssfjkl;sdaholy moley!

 ANXIETY ANXIETY ANXIETY ANXIETY

bah

oy vey. broke up with my boyfriend. he's still awesome. my closest friends, on the other hand, are making me feel like shit. 2011 is the year i join the 'anywhere but here' crew.

I will not live in Birmingham for more than 1 & 1/2 year from now is my promise.

 rip heart out place on floor squash with heel

even when i sleep i can't escape it and my chest feels like it's gonna explode. fuck

 i've got a knot in my stomach size: large. no idea how it got there or what's tied it but i suppose it's time to think on it. why don't i ever talk to my friends about real shit anymore?

i have got to learn how to take a joke/prank with grace. inevitably my first reaction is !!! so by the time i think it's funny it's not fun anymore.

that is all.

you know, it's kind of a bummer when you tell people what you want to do and they look at you like 'oh, right; and pigs can fly'. it's a double bummer when both of your parents do it.

 i kinda feel like i just ditched a hole i'd been diggin' for myself. lately i've just felt deflated and uninspired but i think i'm done with that. a) tryin to make an effort to be less negative and cranky & b) the unknown: i just snapped out of it (you know how that goes). or maybe this weekend just revitalized me. i had a superb time, didn't ( Read more... )