"...now in the dark world where I dwell, ugly things, and surprising things, and sometimes little wondrous things, spill out in me constantly, and I can count on nothing."

-Phillip K. Dick (A Scanner Darkly)

This is what yesterday was like.
And probably what forever is going to be like.

....it's coming

'if you don't bring up those lonely parts
 this could be a good time'

20.

are you my family
can I stay with you a while
can i stop of in your bed tonight
I can make you smile

I have been thinking that maybe you don't deserve that title.

bullet dodged.

it won't be long until you break
cuz I'm evil

I keep thinking this is what I wanted.
I'm afraid to be content, and I'm afraid to want more

Ohhhhhhh mixed signals.....

generally misconstrued,

I think me and Iko are in the same situation with different words.

i <3 the office.

...that is all.

"Life's a bitch and then you die
That's why we get high
Cuz you never know
When you're gonna go..."

Things go:

up
down
down

down

do
w
n

up

down

and down again.

..sometimes all in one day.

I feel frail.
and emotionally exhausted.

There are no words for how crazy things are today.

"it's nice to hear you say hello
 how are things with you
 I love you

But very soon it's time to go
 an office job to do
 while I'm here writing songs for you

It's nice to hear your voice again
I've waited all day long
 I even wrote a song for you

It's strange the way you make me feel
with just a word or two
I'd like to do the same for you

Strange how a phone ( Read more... )

I have no idea what I'm doing.
I did a shit ton of drugs over break, and I'm fucking up, bad.
Cassandra says she worries about me.
Honestly, I do too.

I know for sure now that I need to go to an art school.
If I can get my own apartment and switch to all art classes, I will gladly stay at Drexel.

And I have decided to get back together with Nate?