there's honestly not a whole lot to write about when your day revolves around nothingness. i'm not even trying to be bleak. there is literally nothing entertaining to do around here. i can't even hit the gym today cause they close early on the weekends. tomorrow we start our ftx. 9 days of field work. lord, take me now. the only thing keeping me ( Read more... )

been neglecting the journal due to emotional exhaustion or general fatigue ( Read more... )

It occurs to me that I should probably write about something more that just the progression of Shannon and my relationship. Or lack there of. This place is creating a bit of a depression since I haven't met anyone I connect with in my free time to distract from absence of anything entertaining to do. At least last time I was here I had my own car ( Read more... )

Time management is definitely a skill I wish I possessed. There's simply not enough time in the day for me to accomplish all the things I'd like and I never seem to realize how precious time is. The most accomplished people in history made their marks by the age of 25. I'm 26 and I can honestly say I haven't accomplished a damn thing I dreamed of ( Read more... )

I'd put the stress level for today somewhere close to meltdown. I have no idea where Shannon and I stand. I want her in my life. I love her. Some things are just so hard to deal with. Honestly, I'm too emotionally exhausted to recap everything. I'm so tired of fighting. I just want love to be enough for her to drop the past and move into the future ( Read more... )

So I realized, while taking a shower, that I have a mole on my face. Same mole I've had all my life but, when I thought about it, I realized that I've never met anyone with a mole on their face who I thought was attractive. So how am I attracting any females? Possible answers: I'm attractive enough that the mole doesn't matter. My personality is ( Read more... )

No in-depth entry tonight. Deep inside there is a stir growing. Stay cool. Stay calm. Stay the course. Calm like a bomb.

So picking up from yesterday..Shannon telling Spencer about us dating. One thing that struck me was when Shannon told me that Spencer said "You two aren't suited for each other but you'll figure that out eventually". Seriously, what does that mean? I've been thinking about it today. I'll be honest and say that I don't think Shannon and my ( Read more... )

Not much to really say about today. Third day here. Feels like forever. Hit the gym for the first time since I've been here. Met this kid in my class who seems pretty interested in working out with me. We're not on that same level but I'm willing to work with him as long as he stays motivated. If I can push him the way Eddie pushed me when I first ( Read more... )

Today was slightly better. Figured out the gym is a 20 minute walk from here. So the plan to focus on getting through this army school, work out and spend as little money as possible. Hopefully I can force myself out of bed tomorrow to go running. I find myself occasionally drifting outside of myself, looking at my own life. I never thought I'd be ( Read more... )