so i never post on my own journal..i dont know why i just like the communities better. haha. so im going on this missions trip to the dominican republic!! in 25 days!! im soo excited. wow. i can't even put it to words right now. im sweating like a friggin cow right now. we live broke here so we never turn on the air conditioning. haha. seriously. ( Read more... )

for some reason i feel so freaking lonely...i should be looking to God for fullness..but i keep looking to boys for love...but finding it very hard. i just want someone to find interest in me...someone that can hold me, and look into my eyes, just someone to make me feel important...like im worth something...someone to call me and give me chills at ( Read more... )

well...today could have been alot better..but it was okay...i guess. i mean i ususally try to stay under 500 cals...but i went around like 750cals today...not too good. Track has been kicking my butt. NO LIE. i've been in pain and sore for a week...no breaks none stop...wow. Newho. lifes been okay. boys idk.haha theres a few in my life...theres ( Read more... )

well. uhm today was okay =]. i happy. back on track in my faith and thats ALWAYS good.
uhmm today i had 5 grapes and 1/2 a string cheese stick. and a 60 cals fizz drink. uhmm.
boys. i really like thiss guy..his name is...well i'll just call him D cuz..yeah. newho..only thing
is im pretty much signing up for heartbreak =[. wana know why? because he ( Read more... )

feeling a bit worthless. tomorrow is school.
the place where standards are set the highest.
plan for tomorrow is salad for lunch. can of carrots
for dinner. sleep. i hate my life right now. i just wana
cry. C just wants to be friends now..again. im just
not good enough for him...for myself..or for anyone.
and im not good enough for food either...thats ( Read more... )

wow i feel like you guys are boycotting my posts =[
havent had update or comments in a long time...
oh well. newhoo. i ended up doing the most RISKY thing
ever. i took my moms car and drove to C's house!!
btw i don't have a license and it's 12 at night. i didn't leave there
till like 3 sooooo! yehh. and i def. got away with it!! whoooo.
yeahh we talked ( Read more... )

I didn't gain a pound from the cake. im very relieved still a solid 125lbs. Im supposed to go
hand out with C. at his house. sweatpants, popcorn, and moviess =]  haha
thats where its at. all of you are really makin me question my choices with this guy.
if my best friend would just get over all of this then i wouldn't be committin no crimes..
( Read more... )

okay so. C just texted me (first) and said somethings that make me
feel alittle better about this whole sit. (btw the reason we gotta keep
all this kissin and likin a secret is cuz my BFFL used to like C and still
isn't over him...at all. he knows and i know that me and him can't be
right now. but yeahh.) so heres some stuff he texted mee.<33

C-"i duno ( Read more... )

my mom made me eat...
she practically begged me to eat a meal.
I didnt know how to get out of it...so i ate.
now im pissed
and i feel nasty.
it was steamed veggies
and lobster meat...idk the cal count.
if it makes me gain ill be SOOO pissed!
seriously. ill shoot myself.
and advice on how to get outa that
bullshit sit. holler at me please. <33

so i've been doin pretty good. i like it. havent really been hungry latly..
only had a candy cane today (55cals) yeahh. not too bad i guess.
uhmm yeahh. i don't really have much else to say.