I don't know about you. I only know about me. I take what I know about me and I superimpose it on to you. Does it fit? Who cares? That's all I've got to go on. Usually I'm pretty accurate. This is because me and me, we talk it out. No one knows me like me, man. Me GETS me ( Read more... )

Customer Service Don't
Customer (to me as I blow my nose): Oh no, are you sick?
Me: Yeah, I've got that highly contagious flu that kills childrenCustomer: Don't say that, I have a six month old at home ( Read more... )

= Happiness

( For they are the cheekiest of the woodland creatures. )

If life is so fair, why do roses have thorns?

Tickle Me Emo

Also, this one is so cute that I find it difficult to breathe.

Puppies can whistle, kind of

= SHAME

Recently Cosmo printed a list of 10 flirting tips, including old classics and a few oddball suggestions that I never would have thought of.

1. The hair flip
2. The lip purse
3. Subtly touching one's body
4. The sly glance over one shoulder
5. Caressing a cylindrical object
6. Rolling one's hips
7. Slowly revealing the skin of the wrist ( Read more... )

We were without electricity for two days, and in the meantime my iPod is temporarily not working. Last night I read by the light of a candle. It felt awfully romantic, though the circumstances were unideal. Also, I got a summons for jury duty and one of my housemates is moving out ( Read more... )

She has but two gifts to give - shit and smiles. And yeah, she does rain them down upon us with merry abandon ( Read more... )

Journey into my inner-dialogue.

Diantha's Lust: Just shag him already, get it in you for fuck's sake. I'm tired of your umming and aahing, you deserve some fun. Besides, you're not under any obligations now. You're a free agent.
Diantha's Shallowness: I agree with Lust, this guy wants to shag you and he's a total cad. That must mean you meet a ( Read more... )

Life ( Read more... )