A recent MSN conversation has started me thinking, a dangerous and inevitably massachistic process, but one I can't help but indulge in now. I've been told that I hide who I am. That I come off one way, but in reality, at my core, I'm really quite the opposite. And I've been encouraged to rediscover this inner sanctum, the essence of my Self if ( Read more... )

So, it looks like I'm going to Mexico after all. In the end, I'm surprised at how relieved I am. I guess, despite how much I hoped and prayed that I wouldn't have to go, being close to achieving that secret, dark desire made me realize how much I really do want to go. Not because I look forward to a week of passive-aggressive hostility in close ( Read more... )

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com
http://www.quizgalaxy.com/quiz.php?id=83

Timothy Donald Thomas Cann Jolly --
[adjective]:

Sexually stunning

(Couldn't have said it better myself...)

I will not spend my life being sorry for what I can't do instead of being proud of what I can.

Why is it that I always write in this thing when I'm depressed? And why am I suddenly depressed all of a sudden? I never used to get depressed. I never get depressed. I'm me. I'm over hormonal imbalance and random mood swings ( Read more... )

I thought that venting my feelings through this online journal (and in much more detail in my own private blog) would make me feel better. However, like with so many things lately, I was wrong. Instead of purging me of my negative emotions, it gave them form. It crystallized them. It made them real and hard and sharp. And now I just feel worse ( Read more... )

I have discovered a disturbing truth recently. The cruellest emotion in the world isn't hate, as I always thought, but indifference. At least hate gives you something to hold onto, some attention. At least hate acknowledges your existence, even if only regretfully. Indifferences ignores you. I can't think of a worse fate: a slow death, just ( Read more... )

I hate that I have to censor my posts. But I guess it's the inevitable reality of having a publically-available journal. Definitely not the ideal place for a rant. Particularly rants about people you care about. Still, sometimes, it's like you're thinking and feeling so much so fast that you just need someone else to slow you down. And let's be ( Read more... )

So, I did the unthinkable and destroyed my laptop. The only way I managed to survive the weekend without computer access was by going to Montreal for a weekend of partying with my old, OUTlaw! peeps. Fun was had by all. We stayed in a really great B & B: it had a palatial bathroom, another washroom (for slobs who refuse to bathe like civilized ( Read more... )

Do you ever feel that you're a razor blade, and all you do is make innocent people around you bleed? That hard as you try, you can never do more than hurt everyone you touch ( Read more... )