Ce Ce Peniston provides surprise help for man with memory loss.

[wardytron]

I went out for lunch last weekend with Mumward, James Ward and James Ward's girlfriend Alexa. Mumward had phoned me and said she thought it might be a nice idea if the four of us went out and Mumward and I split the bill. Immediately I saw a glaring flaw in this plan, but because I didn't want to appear mean I agreed. Then as soon as I'd

Comments

[steer]

Perhaps if she did lack adjectives Ce Ce could describe things through mime or dance?

[wardytron]

Yes, mime, like on Give Us A Clue. She could have learnt from the master, Lionel Blair. Who could possibly forget seeing him pull off Twelve Angry Men in less than two minutes?

[steer]

Yes, mime, like on Give Us A Clue.

1200 words and it's an essay on a feeling which is difficult to describe. First word sounds like some kind of bird... turkey? pigeon?

Who could possibly forget seeing him pull off Twelve Angry Men in less than two minutes?

Hold on, I think you're channelling the spirit of Humphrey Littleton. Do you feel an urge to play a trumpet and hang around old men complaining they're not funny? I think there's an exorcism ritual involving a kazoo and a swannee whistle.

[wardytron]

Macaw. Rhymes with "macaw". I was at the zoo last week and a child wrongly referred to a macaw as a parrot. Oh, how I laughed into her 6 year old face.

Hold on, I think you're channelling the spirit of Humphrey Littleton.

Rumbled.

[oldbloke]

Yes.

[wardytron]

If you don't mind my saying so, your impression of Meg Ryan in the café scene in When Harry Met Sally is a bit half-hearted if you ask me. You want to put a bit more oomph into it next time.

[rhodri]

It's not that you're not as funny as you used to be, it's just that your humour is becoming more selective.

[wardytron]

Me not being as funny as I used to be is like Simon Bates not being as good at triple jump as he used to be. If you've never seen Simon Bates triple jumping you haven't lived, but let me try and picture it for you. Imagine Simon Bates jumping, three times.

[rhodri]

I have to say that your description of the triple jump is to be found wanting. Simon Bates runs down a runway until he reaches a takeoff mark, from which the jump is measured. The takeoff mark is a "board", which is commonly implemented as a physical piece of wood or like material embedded in the runway, or a rectangle painted on the runway surface. In modern championships a strip of plasticine or modeling clay is attached to the board to record Simon Bates overstepping the mark, defined by the trailing edge of the board

[wardytron]

I hope you haven't just looked up "triple jump" on Wikipedia, copied and pasted the description and then replaced the words "the athlete" with Simon Bates's name. I'm sure you won't have done though. No, I'll take you word on trust. As you know, we Wards deplore cynicism, and as Dadward always used to say, "If you can't trust rhodri, who can you trust?"

[wardytron]

I'm supposed to stay quite close to the flat though, in case anyone needs to be fetched from the station, or they run out of booze or there are any other errands that need doing, AS I THINK I MADE CLEAR. Also the plan is I take the dogs out for a long walk at about the point when people are supposed to be arriving, then I'm permitted to take the dogs home, but I have to go out again myself. Anyway the point is I think that would be in violation of my orders.

Yeah, whores.

[whizzerandchips]

Under such circumstances I generally hide in the bedroom with a book and a bottle of wine.

[wardytron]

This has been presented as an option, but it's going to be difficult to concentrate on The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes when people are audibly having fun in the next room. I think instead I'll go to a pub and when I come back pretend I had a really brilliant time, sitting there on my own.

[pippaalice]

I could remember how to spell "Serafinowicz."

I don't believe you

[wardytron]

Yeah, you're right. I don't think I could even remember how to say "Serafinowicz." An expert barrister could tear this Livejournal to shreds. But there's never one aruond when you need one.

[fugitivemotel]

This bloke might still be available!