Being grateful and counting your blessings does not magically, mystically get rid of annoyance and depression from having your plans thwarted. I never understood that mindset; it only leads to suppressing the feelings, and that is unhealthy.
You won't get to do this amazing thing, but you will have a chance to do other amazing things, once you heal.
You have every right to feel frustrated and depressed.
Thank you. I get annoyed when I go into these emotional holes at the folks that try to tell me how good I've got it in a way that seems to indicate I haven't a right to be upset. It's good sometimes to have that frustration acknowledged as a legitimate response and to feel *heard*.
What frustrates me most is feeling like I can't plan for and execute a major physically challenging undertaking. I was asked if I felt like I was maybe sabotaging myself somehow, but that's not it at all. I feel more like I'm *being* sabotaged by fate, the gods, or just plain old bad luck. I know some would want me to take some kind of lesson about going with the flow from that, or accepting limitations or whatever, but instead I see it more as my windmill to keep tilting at. Perhaps the real lesson here is perseverance in the face of adversity. To keep striving to get to a new goal made even more epic because of the need to continuously change or refocus the timing of it. That would suit my stubborn streak, anyway.
Since I don't believe in gods in the sense of spirits which are cognizant of and able to alter reality, I look at things like this as Shit Happens, and We Figure Out How to Deal With It. I recognize, though, that mode of thinking may not suit others; we believe whatever we need to believe in order to find the will to keep going.
If perseverance in the face of adversity (which goes in line with my mode of thinking) suits your stubborn streak and will give you the will to keep going, I'm all for that. :-)
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You won't get to do this amazing thing, but you will have a chance to do other amazing things, once you heal.
You have every right to feel frustrated and depressed.
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What frustrates me most is feeling like I can't plan for and execute a major physically challenging undertaking. I was asked if I felt like I was maybe sabotaging myself somehow, but that's not it at all. I feel more like I'm *being* sabotaged by fate, the gods, or just plain old bad luck. I know some would want me to take some kind of lesson about going with the flow from that, or accepting limitations or whatever, but instead I see it more as my windmill to keep tilting at. Perhaps the real lesson here is perseverance in the face of adversity. To keep striving to get to a new goal made even more epic because of the need to continuously change or refocus the timing of it. That would suit my stubborn streak, anyway.
Reply
If perseverance in the face of adversity (which goes in line with my mode of thinking) suits your stubborn streak and will give you the will to keep going, I'm all for that. :-)
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