Fucked up car plus beautiful ladyfriend equals couldn't give two shits about the car.

Pink Tarantulas is my favorite song ever.

( Untitled. )

You pull the trigger of my (dun-nun-na-nuh, dun-nun-na-nuh, dun-nun-na-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh) love gun.

( And now the ''George W. Bush Making a Dick of Himself While Unwittingly Mocking Other Cultures'' picture of the day. )

Associated Press: Ashcroft Condemns Judges Who Question Bush. If that title alone doesn't piss you off then... you... probably voted for Bush ( Read more... )

Talking to one of those automated phone tellers is kind of like talking to William Shatner.

Let's face it, Bush is going to win. We've let down the entire world. Democracy... just... doesn't work.

I figure, fuck, at least we'll have something to bitch about for four years.

Thanks for calling me today to tell me that I should've been there Friday night. Cocksuckers.

( Seniorquoteoramamaniagoingoutofbusinesssale. )

Kids pick Kerry as winner by fourteen percent in Nickelodeon poll.

The margin of error? Plus or minus complete irrelevance.

New Blood Brothers comes out Tuesday. It will be groin-grabbingly transcendent I assure you.

Pictures of Brett passed out on the floor next to my toilet Friday night are in existence.

I threw up all over NCI’s parking lot, along with my shoes and the bottom of my jeans, last night. As far as puke goes, it was awesome.