haven't been here in awhile, but i guess this is where i can let my heart out without the rest of the world knowing about how i feel. i feel hurt. a lot. maybe it's not a big deal to you, but it is to me. it seems that every time i come to this site, i look at yours and look at your old old web page. and i cry. i cry because things are so ( Read more... )

i saw an old website and cried harder than i did last night in the car on the way home.

i reached that moment today. the moment when you realize that everything has already fallen to pieces, and that you are all alone. it fucking hit me. i was driving on the freeway to sacramento in my mothers car. i called him but nobody answered. i called her, but she couldn't tell so i pretended to ask a stupid question. and opera music was ( Read more... )

fuck you and the horse you came riding in on.

i've been missing you more than usual lately. it's fucking driving me crazy with sadness to hear things and realize how much we don't even know each other anymore. and i hate sitting here in front of a computer typing out things i want to say to you but it's the only way that i can get the words out from my thoughts. it just feels so weird. ( Read more... )

i hate when my swollen eyes have FRANCISCO written all over them.

please don't ever be an OLD bitch and try to have a fucking attitude with me over some bullshit work crap. who at the age of like 70 something tries to pick a fucking verbal war with a fucking 17 year old??? who the hell does that?? sorry that you just look stupid...and i look young :) god i hate work.

i fucking hate today
i fucking hate crying
i hate feeling alone
i hate feeling like i'm about to blow
i justschool
i hate grades
i hate stress
i hate not knowing why i'm crying
and i hate it hurting to obad to breathe.
i just fucking hate it all. all of it.

didn't see him much saturday cause we both worked ( Read more... )

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*SIGH*

i am so