well. i realized it doesn't matter WHAT i write in here since no one reads it. (that's GOOD thing i 'spose).
I have tried to do what i was asked to. Things have not worked out. I have tried but i am always scared. nervous. fucking myself and others over. i do nothing good but give my mom something to worry about.

all life is..is bad. even the happiest people i know..are finding the hopelessness ive been feeling. everyone is down. i've got nothing..to look forward to. the guy ive loved since 6th grade was stolen..or left me..for someone..better..even though everyone says i am better. whatever. i want him back. i want to not be alone. we're all alcohol. we're ( Read more... )

i hooked up with him last night. of course. did too much. hes an ass. now its all over. cant even be friends. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself.
i manage to fuck everything up..don't i.

alright. if you think you know someone who is a real idiot..think again ( Read more... )

i really want everyone to know that i am completely fucking crazy and i am going MAD. i cant even handle the intensity that is life right now and my life is so fucking worthless and boring. i cant deal with it. i need to fix my medications but my pysch WILL NOT listen to me. they DO NOT believe me when i tell them that klonopin (yea they prescribed ( Read more... )

Stephanie's Dad was killed yesterday..i can't explain how horrible this is. something you can not possibly comprehend or understand unless you know her family ( Read more... )

Eric's in a mental hospital now (spring harbor). I thought a lot about sending him a card because his birthday is tomorrow. but then i realized i cant..i just cant..he hurt me too bad by dating that girl..and im not sure a card from me would make him happy or angry or sad or what. I saw that rachel went to visit him..im sure they are or will be ( Read more... )

I can't comprehend all the shit ( Read more... )

hi. i am bored. holidays are boring. so i'll update some more ( Read more... )

A - AGE: 17 ( Read more... )