(Untitled)

[watchtowel]

I have observed that many strong empaths had an unhappy childhood, or were abused in their childhood.  I have wondered what might behind that.  Does an abusesive childhood do something to whit the edge of the empath's gift, or does the personality of the child who is an empath predispose him to abuse because he is different from most children, or

Comments

[niff]

Sometimes I wonder whether there was really much abuse -- or whether I was just waaay overly sensitive. So maybe it's us that attracts it, part of what makes us empaths.

Kinda like, it's not just being punished, it's being punished/disciplined AND feeling all the feelings of the punisher.

What do you think?

[watchtowel]

...and that too could be true.

[fl0werchylde]

Chicken and egg, I guess.

[rihaku]

I came from an abusive household -- I spent much of my youth fighting my family and trying to clean up and control the strong, messy emotions (being an INTJ). I think being "trapped" as a dependent youth in such a family forced me to search for meaning and for explanations -- *why* is my existence such that it is? *Why* are they the way that they are, and what is the right thing to do? How do I endure it? For me, empathy developed as a necessity. But there *are* others, I imagine, who steer clear of it as another means of survival -- my brother, for instance -- an ISTJ -- doesn't seem all that empathetic towards others, though he is very gentle and attentive to children and animals. I also find it easier to be around children and animals -- grown-ups still produce a great deal of anxiety in me.

[watchtowel]

I've noticed, on the other hand that folks don't seem to be able to develop what they never had in them to begin with. I had expected people who were blind from birth to develop a kinesthetic six'th sense so that they can feel people in a room around them, or in an adjoining room, so I expected to find people who would understand that in me amoung people who are blind, but that didn't turn out to be true. Those who happened to also be kinesthetically gifted developed that ability and compensated with it, and those who did not developed accute auditory instead.

I suspect that you searched for meaning and for explanations because that is what you are and how you are wired, and that you would have searched for meaning and explanations even if you had grown up in a loving family. And I now suspect you would never have developed your empathy if it wasn't already in you to start with.

[watchtowel]

Please forgive me if my previous post sounded to you like I was negating your experiences. That wasn't my intention.