so life is weird right now... i have lost interest in my former love or sex interests because whenever you start to like someone somehow you become disgusted...sometimes it happens right away other times it takes a few weeks...haha ( Read more... )

i am all butterflies and jitters lately, my cheeks always blushing... what can i say? i am totally smitten...this boy is oh so cute...and we are totally in to one another...but he needs to get rid of the scruffiness..cuz i keep getting face burn...haha...i am all smiles all day long...yay for shan!

what is this dead animal hiding in my body...there is something decaying inside, i feel like i am falling apart...just melting into nothingness...

just when i think i have found all the pieces to my life and things really start to become beautiful and bearable...everything seems to fall miraculously apart...i just want a fucking year where i dont feel like ripping my heart out and screaming at the top of my lungs into a crowded street...

fuckin hell yeah...i am going to ani difranco in firenze...i am so pumped to see her again and especially in italia! yeah baby!

i turn slowly
exposing the naked surface of my cheek
to sun and before you and this audience
i fake a smile
i think it might be the weather
making me feel so stark and white
quiet eyes caress my body
patient and waiting for something remarkable
perfect and precious
nothing beautiful shows its face
i could have sworn there is something
i have to

why is it that when i finally seem to be adjusting again to life here in this beautiful antique place that i find something to despise and dwell upon. my hair is getting long, my stomach flat, and my nails short and covered in ink and paint. i havent been wanting to eat and i keep beating myself up about my painting and drawing abilities. I am ( Read more... )

ok...well break went by way way way too fast. i felt so rushed the entire time. i wasnt able to see a bunch of people that i wanted and needed to see, so that sucked. it is funny how quickly my time at home sped by...i was so busy with family stuff...my dad getting hitched, and it was hard...because there are just so many people that are really ( Read more... )

well my dad is re married now...
i am tired emotionally and physically
my brother leaves tomorrow for new orleans
i am running out of time here...
i dont want to say goodbye again
i love so much here
i am afraid of the lonliness that awaits me...

so another day floats on by...my time here has been going by so quickly...and part of me is starting to panic because although i am so excited to go back to italy, a huge part of me wants to stay...i miss my family so much and i dont know if i can make it through spring semester without seeing them...but at the same time i know that i need to go ( Read more... )