Muffins 'verse | #04; The Worst Day Since Yesterday
Title: The Worst Day Since Yesterday
Author: cocoplumb
Beta: 2people2
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Jensen/Jared. sick!Jensen. angst.
Warnings: cancer. mentions of chemo. lotsa pain, soz jensen.
Word Count: 1500
Summary: Jensen has a set back in his recovery, it’s not pretty.
Notes: This one is set in Jensen's POV, hope you enjoy.
Previous Parts: #01 | #02 | #03
Jensen's whole body ached, from the ends of his toenails to the top of his pale bald head. He gripped the edge of the toilet and threw up, his stomach clenching painfully with each gag. He wrapped his brittle cold arms around himself, shivering and wishing for warmer arms to come around him that weren’t his own. He couldn’t ever remember a time in his life when he felt like he needed someone. Today he couldn’t stop counting down the minutes until Jared came to pick him up from the floor.
Jensen imagined him dashing from the office building the second the meeting was over, his ridiculously long arms and legs flailing in every which direction as he ran to his car with a face like a crazed moose. He hoped Jared hadn’t gone and done something stupid on his way out of work, like quitting for instance. Jensen had spent the entire previous night convincing Jared not to call his boss and tell him to shove the job up his, “Tight pruned asshole.” Jared had whined for hours over the fact that he had only been called to attend the meeting because they needed someone to hand out refreshments. “I mean, god forbid they have to actually pour their own damn coffee or clean up their freakin’ crumbs from the desk!” Jensen was fairly sure the situation wasn’t quite that dramatic, but if he had learned anything about Jared in the month and half they had known each other, it was that Jared had the tendency to be rash and very dramatic. It was all part of his charm.
Jensen's door rattled mere minutes later; he sank back against the bathroom tiles wondering how bad he looked. Jared had never been put off by his gaunt and deathly appearance, had even often called him a catch, but Jensen still worried; still felt so overwhelmingly self-conscious each second he was around Jared. The man was beautiful, clumsy, ridiculous, loud and unruly, but he was so beautiful. Jared deserved better, but Jensen wasn’t ready to let him go yet; he needed to be selfish for just a little longer. He’d let Jared go soon enough, when the younger man realised he was worth so much more than being an unpaid babysitter of a dying pathetic skeleton.
“Hey, how are you doing? You sounded pretty rough on the phone,” Jared spoke soft and tenderly. He never babbled like his adorable awkward self when he got the picture Jensen wasn’t up to listening. Jared was at his most confident and composed at times like this. It was another thing that made Jared so breathtaking, it was more than what was on the outside.
Jared kneeled down in front of Jensen, his hand reaching out to wipe the cold sweat from his forehead. Jensen shrank back and moaned.
“I’m cold.” He didn’t want to give Jared pneumonia; he felt like a statue of ice about to crack and shatter.
“Then you’re in luck, because I’m pretty warm.” Jared pulled off his suit jacket, it was his best one; all his others were pretty cheap because temps didn’t get paid well. Jensen felt a swell of pride Jared chose to look his best for the meeting today despite his hours of bitching the night before. Jared threw the jacket to lie on top of Jensen's laundry basket and scooted closer. He wedged himself between Jensen and the wall, wrapping his arms loosely around his middle until Jensen leaned back into the warmth.
“Thank you.” Jensen felt a kiss on the top of his head. His beanie had been discarded long ago. He couldn’t even bring himself to be embarrassed for the moment. He was too tired. “Did you call your brother?”
“Yep, RSVP’d for the both of us to the engagement party. You’re my plus one. That’s okay, right?”
“Very okay,” Jensen assured him, tucking his head under Jared’s chin, closing his eyes. He wasn’t at all terrified over the fact that he was meeting Jared’s entire family for the first time at such a prominent event.
Jared’s arms came around him a little tighter. “Tell me when you’re ready, I’ll put you to bed.”
“’kay.”
-
It was pitch black and Jensen woke up in his bed, a fire of agony scalding the inside of his stomach. Jared was awake beside him in an instant, flicking on the blinding lamp bedside him.
“Trashcan,” Jensen gasped, the burn of acid rapidly moving up.
“Lean over, it’s okay,” Jared rubbed his back and turned him on his side.
Jensen moved over the edge of the bed and puked into the bucket Jared set on the floor on the top of a towel, probably hours ago. Jensen wasn’t sure why he was gratefully surprised, Jared was a pro at this stuff now. For all his frantic rambles and flailing, he was the best he could be when it came down to it.
“What’s wrong?” Jared asked him, kneading between his shoulder blades.
“I don’t know,” Jensen clenched his eyes shut and squeezed so tight through another wave of nausea and pain, tears sprinkled from the corners.
Jared leaned in closer and pressed his solid chest to Jensen's frail back. “Jen…that’s blood in that,” Jared’s voice shook and his fingers tightened around Jensen's wrist.
Jensen opened his eyes to look at the contents of the bucket and the excruciating pain in his stomach began to make sense. “Fuck.”
Jared leaped up out of bed, he was dressed in just his t-shirt, the one he’d worn under his striped work shirt, and a pair of Jensen's loose sweatpants that once fit him but hadn’t since he got sick and lost a ton of weight. They were probably far too short for Jared, Jensen couldn’t see his feet from the floor as he rushed around for Jensen's robe and the keys to his car.
“Can you stand, or do you need me to carry you?” Jared pulled Jensen into a sitting position on the bed and manipulated his arms into the sleeves of the robe.
Jensen wasn’t sure when he’d started to cry, he simply felt Jared’s thumb brushing his wet cheek with a sad smile. “Don’t cry, it’s gonna be okay.” He winced with each moan and cry of pain from Jensen as he lifted his bony body into his arms. Jensen clung to him as he was carried out of his apartment and placed in the passenger seat of Jared’s car.
The ride through town was agonizing. When Jared hit a pothole, Jensen's stomach erupted again and blood spurted from his mouth. He tried apologizing to Jared for messing up his car, he’d never done that before, had always given Jared enough warning to pull over. His mouth wasn’t complying; the sticky blood slicked his tongue and made it impossible to make any amount of sense.
Jared reached over with his callous sweaty hand and squeezed Jensen's, reassuring him with words like, “It’s gonna be okay. You’re okay. Everything’s gonna be fine. Just keep breathing. You’re okay.”
They reached the hospital just as the edges of Jensen's vision began to fade. Jared jumped out of the drivers seat and shouted for help; his voice sounding further away than it really was in his pain riddled state.
Jensen was pulled from the passenger seat and thrust onto a stretcher by someone is pale green scrubs. Jared was on the other side, wheeling him in through the automatic doors. Jensen found his hand and clung to it like he was afraid he might break into dust if he let go.
The nurses pried them apart and that’s when Jensen began to scream.
Jensen's whole world was a blur of grey and red. He tossed and turned, pain resonating in every joint of his body. Nausea radiated like a tsunami. He pressed hard on his abdomen and cried a muffled nonsense sound into his pillow. He had nothing left to give, nothing but acid and blood swilled around inside his stomach and he clung to what little fluids he had left.
The agony inside his bones seemed to intensify with each passing moment. He just wanted something to hold, something to keep him from tipping over the edge of insanity. The nurses continued to pump drugs into him, but nothing was helping.
He cried for relief. He cried for sleep. He cried for Jared.
The End.
> #05; Stay Awhile