Muffins 'Verse | #05; Stay Awhile
Title: Stay Awhile
Author: cocoplumb
Beta: 2people2
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Jensen/Jared. sick!Jensen. angst.
Warnings: cancer. mentions of chemo. drugged-dopey!jensen.
Word Count: 1500
Summary: Jared sits bedside Jensen's hospital bed and wonders if he's enough to get Jensen through this mess, Jensen assures him he is more than enough.
Notes: Um...this one sort of wrote itself, I have no idea where I thought it was going...
Previous Parts: #01 | #02 | #03 | #04
Jared refused to go home. The nurses assured him they would call when Jensen woke up but he couldn’t face getting back into his blood stained car and driving home to a cold and empty bed, leaving Jensen so alone. Jared had gotten the impression Jensen had spent enough time alone in his recent years.
He held Jensen's clammy hand as the man slept and the machines beeped. He watched the rise and fall of Jensen's chest and didn’t need any medical training to know his heart was going too fast and Jensen's numbers were completely out of whack. It was like he could sense the excruciating motions going on inside Jensen's body.
It was like nails on a chalkboard, except they were claws deep in his stomach.
Jared fell asleep in the chair beside Jensen's bed around six in the morning, the adrenalin having eventually worn off, his pounding head resting against Jensen's arm. He was awoken by a nurse a few hours later who brought him coffee and told him the doctor would be in to do rounds in the next half hour.
Jared drank the coffee, it was rank and stale but the caffeine, although it did nothing for his still linger headache, it cleared the mothballs from behind his eyes so he was grateful. He brushed his fingers through his hair and straightened out his t-shirt. He looked down at his feet and almost chuckled at the too short sweatpants he’d borrowed from Jensen in the wee hours of the night, before climbing into bed next to the sickly man and snuggling in close, trying to bring some warmth to his ice cold skin.
The doctor walked in and brought Jared from his musings. The man looked in his fifties, grey beard and peppery hair. He studied Jensen's chart before turning to Jared and demanding what his relationship with the patient was.
Jared replied with confidence, “I’m his partner. He doesn’t have any family in the city, I’m all he’s got right now.” It was somewhat of an arrogant statement; Jensen had his brother and his best friend, Chris, whom he told Jared about. But Jared didn’t know either of their numbers and in the rush to the hospital neither of them thought to pick up Jensen's cell phone.
The doctor was a little tight on the exact details because Jared wasn’t a relative, but he was given the basic gist which was Jensen had a stomach ulcer caused by the chemo and the excessive vomiting he had been doing lately. Jensen was being put on hold from chemo for the next week until his stomach lining healed and he was currently sedated because of the pain.
Jared felt confident he and Jensen could handle the stomach ulcer thing together, it was quite common apparently with cancer patients. Painful, but common and very treatable.
“We will also have to postpone Jensen's surgery.”
Jared’s chest suddenly became heavier. “What? He’s supposed to have that in a few weeks.” He was so ready, so excited, so ready…
The doctor gave Jared a calculated look of sympathy. “Jensen's body just won’t be able to cope with the strain. He’ll have to catch up with chemo and that may require a stronger dose when we put him back on it, after that we will need to re-evaluate the status of the cancer and then we’ll look at the possibility of surgery again. All in all, we may be looking to push it back as far as two months.”
“Oh…okay.” Jared nodded, water collecting in his eyes. “When will he wake up?”
“Soon, in the next hour or so. Then we’ll run some more tests and monitor him for the next twenty four hours.”
Jared didn’t trust his voice, he felt the emotions build in the back of his throat and resorted to a simple nod.
The doctors’ sneakers squeaked on the vinyl floor as he exited the room. Jared sat back in the creaking chair and rocked on his heels. “I’m so sorry, Jensen,” he whispered to the unconscious man and held his hand once more.
-
“You’re here,” was Jensen's first sentence when he woke up. His words were slurred and barely a whisper but Jared understood.
“Of course I am,” Jared told him, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, like Jensen had pointed out the sky was blue. “You know, you kind of scared the crap out of me.” Jared’s voice was snotty and thick when Jensen finally woke up.
The man was woozy and hardly lucid but he somehow found the strength to squeeze Jared’s hand back and whisper, “Wasn’t on my t-do list. What do they have me on? Everythin’s loopy, loopy’s good.”
Jared gave him a watery smile. He didn’t dare open his mouth, he was so completely sure he would start sobbing or worse if he did.
“Wha…? What’s wrong? Hey…” Jensen tried to sit up but grimaced and his head rolled towards his shoulder.
“Jen they’re not gonna be able to do your surgery next month,” Jared blurted out, tears clouding his vision immediately. “They have to stop chemo, you have a stomach ulcer but the said you’re gonna be fine, only that they can’t do the surgery in the next few weeks like they planned because you can’t take it and your body has been through so much and I just…I’m so sorry.”
He was quiet for a moment, and the he laughed. Jensen laughed. Actually laughed. He was so sick, so in pain, he had cancer and he was laughing. “You’re an idiot,” he told Jared with an affectionate smile. “Not your fault, you don’t have to be sorry.”
Jared was about to interrupt, to counteract Jensen's comments but wasn’t given much of a chance when the faint drunken voice sounded again.
“Listen, okay, listen, sshhh,” Jensen said, the dopey words and the fluttering of his eyes would have been adorable in any other situation. Jensen tugged Jared closer, “Ja’red,” he said in sing song, “I knew this could happen, I’m prepared for things like this happenin’, Ja’red.” He squeezed Jared’s hand again and took a moment to steady his slurring tongue, his swimming eyes momentarily lucid if not sombre. “If you knew how many set backs cancer patients can have during treatment… I got off so easy.”
Jared turned his tear stained shameful face away but Jensen pulled him back.
“Hey, hey, listen to me…” Drunken Jensen made his return, “The hottest guy I’ve ever seen…besides my high school gym teacher and he doesn’t count, hello, he’s a teacher, he wore these super tight shorts that were tight. Anyways, so this hot guy bumps into me outside a coffee shop and now he’s sitting by my hospital bed holding my hand and being my boyfriend and he rubs my back while I puke and buys me peppermint candles. Even though I’m a bald, sickly, pruned freak. Fuck surgery, fuck fucking cancer, ‘cos I’ve got a hot boyfriend. You get me?”
Jared was fairly sure he been to one too many college parties with Chad getting shitfaced and declaring his love almost every time he got drunk and because of that, he was able to understand every drugged up word Jensen was saying.
“I get you, I think…”
Jensen smirked, his lids fighting to stay open. “Stop crying you girl, and blow your nose before you kiss me.”
It was Jared’s turn to laugh. Though his was considerably snottier than Jensen's. He blew his nose with four tissues in total before he leaned down over the bed and kissed Jensen on the lips. Jensen's mouth was chapped and sore, there was still a tinge of metallic from the blood he’d vomited hours ago inside his lips and Jared was afraid Jensen might break if he kissed him too hard. It was the best kiss Jared had ever had regardless.
He pulled away and ran his thumb over Jensen’s cracked lips. “I’m going to let the nurse know you’re awake, ask them about that loopy thing. Then I’m going to run down to the gift shop to get you some chap stick, and maybe a breath mint. You want anything else?”
Jensen tugged on a lock of Jared’s hair and fell asleep with a faint smile. Jared kissed him once more on the top his head and then left to find the nurse and directions to the gift shop.
The End.
A/N: It's past midnight and also my birthday! Comments make awesome presents... :)
> #06; Locks of Love