I am feeling better now...food helps some...still would like to fuck to make the day more interesting but maybe later this week. Going to get a shower now and clean up my room. Need to study some too. the entry i wrote earlier was out of sheer depression. but i am feeling better now.

Love.

I woke up this morning believing that I needed to get up and get ready for work (Superego taking over) but surprise-surprise we had no power and no water- they had been out for at least 4 hours... So I didnt know who to call at 7am, so I called Dave. I didnt want to call my mom to see if she could come get me because she wouldve been like "Wheres ( Read more... )

I made him cry...again. Every single time that he has cried within the last 2 years was because of me. That is just so overwhelming- to actually bring someone down so far, to bring them to tears. sigh... and its all because i get upset over things that he likes to do... i wouldve been okay with him playing his new game if he had told me that is ( Read more... )

I thought I would post again while I wait for Brandon to come over. He and I talked late Monday night about everything. We both cried...its the second time Ive ever seen him cry. I dont want to go into it all right now... Were not going to Spain next year with Ashley and Brandon. Can't afford to go but its ok. Brandon "promised" we would go camping ( Read more... )

2 years ago today we met for the first time... I cant believe its been 2 years already... it feels like  a lifetime...

It is official. I am now a student at SU. I am somewhat excited about the idea of transferring to a different school, but then I realize it is SU and how much I will miss Wor-Wic (mostly because of Tavel). Hopefully Monday I will be able to meet up with Tavel and talk to him about everything. I sent an email requesting to change my orientation date ( Read more... )

I think the only thing that is keeping me from going insane right now is listening to Dave. Heh. How ironic...because I used to not like DMB at all. Well, this week has not began they way I had wanted it to. I went to check out the Depression Support Group yesterday and apparently you have to be a patient at the clinic in order to attend. I was so ( Read more... )

Im really exhausted from everything that has happened within the past few days. SATs could have gone better than expected. The people who proctored it did not do a very good job especially about keeping track of time. I arrived at UMES at 7:20am (because I am anal about time) hoping to be checked in early, but we were not allowed to check in until ( Read more... )

Its been a week I guess since my last entry. A lot has happened this week. I had my first meeting with Patti, my counselor, on Tuesday. Stacy came with me for support. The meeting was alright. It was kind of what I had expected, but I wasnt disappointed. I think I am doing well for myself and that this will help me out with keeping myself motivated ( Read more... )

i have bloody scratches going up and down the side of my right leg and on the end of my left elbow. i was too scared to dig deeper. the scratches sting now. i thought if i had focused all my pain into one area i could slowly release it all. of course, it didnt work. i just want to be numb. i dont want to feel anything anymore. everything i seem to ( Read more... )