I've realized something that is worse then death, feeling non-existent. I feel so completely unacknowledged, so completely unloved. It's like the song "Blue". That song is the perfect example of what I am trying to say. Like anyone really listens. They'll probably think "oh, she's not like that. She won't do something like that...I'll just nod and ( Read more... )

I feel.................................................................................severed................................................................................torn.................................................................................disconnected

It's been a while since I last updated, but I just really dont care. I dont even remember what I wrote last, and Im too tired to even look back. School sucks-VPA,Physics, Speech class, maybe I will include English...Grr, I just dont see the point in going on...Ive been having suicidal thoughts lately, which isnt a good sign. Damn Im fucking tired ( Read more... )

Woo..what an exciting day...not. Restarted my first assignment in VPA. Grr...I hate doing the first assignment because it always sucks. I tried to do it in black and white but that didnt turn out well. So I erased the part that I was working on and went to another. I just started scribbling colors and soon finished that part. I didnt feel like ( Read more... )

Well today couldve gone better...bleh, this year is going to be a long one. Spent first four periods in one building...sigh...then it was off to a crappy lunch period. Then off to english with a bunch of imbeciles...I dont know. Physics was just pointless..she talks way too much. I am so glad that I am dropping Calc. But I do have to go to class ( Read more... )

Well, it's the night before I have to go back to school. For some reason I dont want to go back. It's going to be weird being a senior. I dont feel like a senior...this summer has gone by way too quickly. Grr..it sucks. Well at least next summer I can look forward to going to the Bahamas again and to CA ( Read more... )

What a crazy day it has been. Went to Six Flags with dad and Dara. F-ing awesome! Rode "Batwing" twice. It was so fucking awesome, you felt like you were going to fall from the harness. Rode Dara's fave ride "The Joker's Jinx" like three or four times. The fucking best...G-forces and the tunnel and the speed! Then we decided to go on a water ride ( Read more... )

Damn, I missed the one thing I have been waiting for for so long...hopefully it will reoccur tomorrow...crossing my fingers...

Sigh, so tired...I couldve slept in this morning, but no. Went to O.C. with my mom, stepdad, and little sister. Got stuck riding most of the rides with her. She seems not to be much of a thrill seeker. She gets freaked out over the silliest rides. I dont know, she's such a little scaredy cat, and such a brat. She ended up riding the dumb merry-go- ( Read more... )

Yo, homies what up? Just got back from Dara's. Dejahvuu... Went and saw "Stealth" with her and PCNick. It was ok...I like EDI though, he was cool. Got my hair cut and it is such a relief... Hopefully I will be doing stuff with *****. Yay...The only thing we can do around here is see silly movies...it's sad. Have to go to OC tomorrow for my little ( Read more... )