My mind has wanderred off into a magically manic state ( Read more... )

*James knocks on his table*

James: Who's there?
James: I am.
James: I am who?
James: I am me.
James: You -are-?
James: Just as much as -you- are?
James: Oh, right.
James: Aye.

Ratta-tat-smack ( Read more... )

I have made 15.50 fucking around on the internet today.
Oh, and I went for a schmoke break too.

Fuck yeah, bitch.

I'm sitting at beaker central, constantly glancing down at the poorly parked Mustang and remembering Mother saying, "Botched that one" as we walked away from it earlier this morning ( Read more... )

Some days I wish I owned a motor cycle so I could do sweet tricks.
Then some days I think I'd be fine with just, like, the "moto-outfit".

I was well into the woods when I noticed the bear ( Read more... )

Maurice thought it was a logical course of action to remove himself from the Burger King's dumpster ( Read more... )

I saw a bug today, so I killed it.

Once it's tiny and useless shell of a body was smushed snuggly against my index finger, I took a minute to examine it.

Was I shocked when I realized it had tears rolling down it's gooey little face...?

No.

I was shocked when my brother burst into the room naked yelling "WHY ARE THERE NO FUCKING TOWELS IN THE

(I can fake things ( Read more... )