Hope is around the corner Part4/?
TITLE: Hope is around the corner Part4/?
AUTHOR: wemwems
GENRE: AU
PAIRINGS: 2min, OnKey, JongKey for now :)
RATING: PG-13 to NC-17
SUMMARY: Lee Taemin isn't a normal 17 year old boy. The death of his family has given him a new insight to life, and he is on a mission to change the world. However, he didn't plan on falling in love with Choi Minho, his favourite Korean idol, who loves him more than life itself. But which is more important to him: Being with the one man who can give him a second chance of having a family, or his dream to make the world a better place? If only he could have both...
A/N: I've been dying to post this all day, I just came back from school. And I just realised that I'm on my 4th chapter and the story is still basically on the same day! Seems like this is going to be a lonnggg fan fic! I've got sooo many ideas for coming chapters I can't wait to get it all out! Well enjoy the chapter xxx
PS- This chapter was really hard to write :(
Minho POV
“Come on you guys!! I told Taemin that all of us were going to be there!” Key and Onew are trying to bail out of dinner tonight, but Taemin is so looking forward to it. He’s in the bathroom right now, washing his face. That’s the second time I’ve seen him cry today.
“Did something happen with you two?” I ask Key. Gosh, I can hear him smiling on the other end of the phone. “So you finally picked?” Poor Jonghyun.
“Sorry Minho. We haven’t told Jonghyun yet and until we do I just can’t be around him.”
“Well when ARE you going to tell him. We’ve got a schedule tomorrow. “ Oh SHIT. We have a meeting with our manager tomorrow, but I told Taemin I’d go to the Chinchin radio broadcast with him. I’m going to have to bail on the radio broadcast but I’m definitely going to take him to his family’s grave afterwards.
“I’ll tell him soon. Sorry Minho, tell Taemin umma says hi!”
“No!”
“Whyyyyy?”
“Because number one, it’s creepy and number two, it’s … weird, and number trhee, I’M MAD AT YOU FOR BAILING ON US.”
“Minho we both know you’re just jealous that he picked me over you during the Star King recording.”
“Hey he said it was only because both of you speak En…”
“Gotta go Minho! Give Minnie my love!! Laterrzzz.”
I swear if Key wasn’t such a great friend, I would have clocked his diva face ages ago.
“Whoa, are you okay?” Taemin notices that I’m clenching the phone so tight that it looks like it’s about to snap.
“Oh I’m fine Taemin. By the way, I’m really sorry but Key and Onew can’t make it tonight. I guess it’s just going to be you, me and Jonghyun.” I hope he’s not too disappointed that the others can’t make it. Since he’s a big fan of Shinee, I wanted him to be able to eat out with all of us.
“Oh don’t worry about it. I’m happy to meet Jonghyun since I didn’t meet him at the recording today.” Hopefully Taemin isn’t too interested in Jonghyun. Well, Jonghyun is in love with Key anyway, so I guess I have nothing to worry about.
Key POV
Onew and I have been at the dorm all day, trying to figure out the best way to break the news to Jonghyun. Thankfully he’s been out all day, but I wonder where he is. He shouldn’t even be out in the first place, with his leg injured. After cancelling plans with Minho and cute little Taemin, we finally decided that this was the last time we’d run away. Next time we see Jonghyun we’ll both be completely honest and tell him that we love each other. And of course, I want to talk to Jonghyun privately as well. I need to tell him that I still love him, and probably always will. But I just feel that Onew and I need to give it a shot, because to be honest I think Onew loves me in a way Jonghyun never could.
“Kibum. What should we do while we wait for Jonghyun?” Onew asks, with lust in his eye.
“Hmmm, Onew. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” I say, licking my lips seductively as possible.
He grins from ear to ear. “I think I’m thinking exactly what you’re thinking.”
“But don’t you think it’s wrong? I mean, isn’t it too soon?” I don't want to take things to quickly now that we can finally be together.
“No not really. I’ve been waiting for ages.”
“Me too. But Onew yeobo, I think we need to think a bit more.”
“Aww why? Are you not in the mood?”
“Of course I want to. Oh what the hell, I can’t hold back any longer!”
“Yayyiee!!!! Let’s go let’s go!”
“I’m ready when you are.”
He gets up and starts putting his jacket on. “Huh? Onew yeobo, where are you going?”
“Well the chicken shop doesn’t deliver. Let’s go I’m hungry I haven’t eaten since lunch!!”
Oh dear… I guess this relationship is going to take some getting used to.
Taemin POV
It's hard to believe that Minho spent the whole day at my house. And now we're driving to the Japanese restaurant that Minho picked for us after I told him that my favourite food was sushi. It's not a long walk but Minho insists we take the car to avoid the cold and to avoid fan girls. I guess when you're an idol it's hard to go out in public.
I'm surprised to see Jonghyun already waiting for us. I'm not sure whether to shake his hand or bow, so I play it safe and bow. "Hello my name is Taemin."
"Hi I'm Jonghyun." he nods back. Already the atmosphere is tense.
"Jjong! Haven't seen you all day." Minho finally breaks the silence.
"Yeah I was in the park." He seemed really upset.
"Ohhh, I was in the park too!" I add in. But I got silence in return.
I look over at Minho, who looks concerned for Jonghyun.
"Hyung? Are you okay?"
"Yeh… I'm sorry I'm just not in a great mood." Jonghyun looks up and stares at me as if he's just noticed I'm in the room. "Taemin, have I met you before?"
"No you haven't. If you had I would have definitely remembered. I'm a big fan!" I smile nervously. Jonghyun smiles back at me.
"I hear you've caused a big commotion at your recording of Star King today."
"Ya!" Minho explains. "A big commotion is an understatement. Everyone is talking about him Jjong, it seems you're the only person who hasn't seen it."
"Well I'll hear it on the radio tomorrow morn…" He suddenly stops talking and stares at me again. I look over at Minho for help and Minho looks at Jonghyun with a WTF look on his face.
"JJONG! What the hell?"
Jonghyun is unaffected by Minho's screaming. He keeps staring at me. "Did you say you were at the park toda…." He suddenly brings his hands to his mouth. "OMO OMO OMO!! Taemin! Do you dance?"
"Hehehehehe well I.."
"I saw you dancing at the park today Taemin! I'm sure it was you! You were amazing!! Really I've never seen anyone dance like you before."
"You dance Taemin?" Minho looks shocked. Eeeesh this is kind of embarrassing.
"Um, well yeah as a hobby. I wanted to be a dancer until my father passed away." Damn why did I even say it. It always brings tension to whatever conversation I'm in, but it just comes out naturally.
"Oh I'm sorry," Jonghyun says. "Well what does your mother think about dancing?"
"Jjong just shutup." Minho looks pissed off.
"No Minho, it's okay. Jonghyun both my parents and my brother passed away. Don't worry about it let's just change the subject."
"I'm sorry. Um… anyway so have you ever taken dance lessons?"
"No I would have loved to though."
"Well you should totally come to the dance studio with us any time." He smiles warmly at me. My bias in Shinee has always been Minho, but Jonghyun came right after him. I can't help but blush at the way he's flirting with me. Though it's weird with Minho here aswell.
The rest of the night is fun. The three of us manage to keep the conversation flowing with no significant gaps. Finally when the meal's finished we decide it's time to go back. A part of me wishes that Minho could come back to my place with me. I just, I don't know whether he likes me in that way. He's so hard to read, unlike Jonghyun who openly flirts with me. I agree to let them walk me back to my apartment and then they'll head off to the dorm together. It's all for the best anyway, I need to wake up early for my radio broadcast.
As we leave the restaurant, I am hit by the strong smell of deep fried chicken from the chicken shop next door. The next few minutes are just, an intense blur.
I see Key and Onew walking out the chicken shop hand in hand.
I hear Jonghyun shouting out to them, "SO THIS IS HOW YOU GUYS TREAT ME HUH?"
And then before anyone can do anything to stop it, Jonghyun runs up to Onew and punches him smack on his face.
Key screams, and starts to cry. Jonghyun is crying swell.
"JJONG YOU IDIOT." Shouts Minho as he rushes to Key to help Onew get back up. Jonghyun tries to storm off but Key gets up and stops him. I run to help Minho hold Onew up.
"Jjong please. Just wait!"
"NO. Kibum. How could you do this to me?"
*Silence*
I feel like we should leave so that they can be alone, but we wouldn't go very far with Onew to carry.
"Jjong I'm sorry. I made my decision. It's Onew."
I expect Jonghyun to start shouting again, but he doesn't. He stares at the floor with a hard expression. He looks up and tears are streaming down his face.
"Why? Kibum. I love you. You know I do, you know I love you more than the world. You know we're meant to be together. So why are you with him? What are you doing with him, when I'm right here. We're so perfect for each other Kibum. I love you. Please. Please don't do this to me."
I can't believe this is happening. Thank goodness the streets are empty at the moment. I look down at Onew who is collapsed in our arms. He's crying. I'M crying. Everyone's just crying. Only Minho's not crying, though he's on the verge of tears.
"Jjong," Key says softly. He lifts a hand to wipe away Jonghyun's tears. "I know you love me. I know very well that we are great together. I know that part of my heart will always belong to you. I love you and I always will."
"Then why are you doing this to me Kibum? Why are you telling me you love me?"
"Because you need to understand why I've made my decision. I love both you and Onew, so much that it tears me apart. But my heart tells me to go to Onew, Jjong."
"What? That doesn't make sense Kibum. There has to be a reason why."
"No there doesn't. All I have to know is that Onew makes me happier than I have ever been. You and I have a great time together, but I see myself growing old with Onew. I'm so sorry." Key hugs Jonghyun tightly. This is definitely our cue to leave. We start limping back to their dorm with a slightly reluctant Onew.
After we drop him off, I want to go back with Minho to see if Jonghyun and Key are alright, but Minho insists I take a taxi home straight away. I want to go with him. I want to help him and Jonghyun and Key. But he's right. This is none of my business, and I should just go home. He sees me off into a taxi, and tells me he'll call me. I tell him I'll be waiting for him. As soon as we separate, I feel a wave of loneliness.
Jonghyun POV
I don't want to let go of Key. I don't want to just let him go running back in to Onew's arms. I breathe in his sweet scent and feel his warmth as we embrace each other. How can we not belong together. How? How am I supposed to see him with Onew everyday. This is so unreal. I can't believe this is happening to me. This is the last time I will be able to hold Key in my arms like this for a long time, and so I squeeze him tightly and whisper in his ear.
"I love you Kibum Kim. You may not think so, but I know we are meant to be together. You're my soulmate. The minute Onew hyung slips up, if he ever hurts you or makes you cry, I'm going to be here. I'll always love you."
Key is crying like a baby in my arms. I know he's made up his mind, and that he won't change it. But I'm going to make him regret it. I'm going to prove him wrong.
I see Minho sprinting towards us. I guess my time is up. I'm the one who pushes Key away, much to his surprise. I smile at him, and tell Minho to take him home.
"I'll see you guys back there in 10 minutes. I'm taking the long way around."
As I walk home alone, I imagine myself with Key in the future. I imagine myself old and growing up with him. He had it wrong. It's me and him, not him and Onew. And I'm going to patiently wait until the day I can prove him wrong. I finished the walk back home with a smile on my face.
Onew POV
I can't believe Jonghyun punched me. I can't believe we hurt him like that. I was so focused on making Key mine that I forgot about what would happen after I finally got him. I wasn't worried when I saw Key and Jonghyun hugging. I knew it was a hug goodbye. I know Key loves me as much as I love him, and that he's not going anywhere. Dammit my nose hurts like hell. I think my front teeth are about to fall out. How long are they going to take to get back? I try to imagine myself as an old man with Key by my side, when door bursts open and Key comes in crying with Minho.
"Thanks Minho. Thankyou so much." I thank him.
"Anyway time hyung. You two go to sleep. I'm going to wait up for Jonghyun."
I take Key, or rather Key takes me into the bedroom that he and Minho share.
We squash up on his bed together.
"Baby, is your nose alright?"
"Don't worry about it, I barely felt a thing."
"I'm so sorry." He starts crying again. It's like daggers in my heart.
"Shhh. Shhh Bummie stop crying. You have nothing to be sorry for."
I look in to his eyes, full of tears, and I know that for as long as I live, I am going to be with this man.
Minho POV
Finally the door opens and Jonghyun walks in. He has a smile on his face. "You okay man?"
"Yeh. Minho don't worry about me. It hurts, sure. But I'm going to be fine."
He disappears in to his bedroom, the one he shares with Onew. I guess I'll be sleeping on the sofa tonight. Jonghyun's not one to hide his feelings. I was expecting him to break down. But I'm relieved that I wouldn't have to mend any broken hearts tonight.
I finally have a chance to call Taemin. He picks up after the 1st ring:
"Hello?"
"Taemin! I'm sorry about today's events."
"Don't worry about it. I hope everyone is okay."
"They will be. Listen Taemin we have a group meeting tomorrow and I don't know how long it's going to last. So go to Chinchin radio and we'll meet you there later."
"Oh, okay."
I hear disappointment in his voice. Dammit, I told him I would be there for him. I told him I would make sure he was never alone. I gather up all the courage I posses to say this next line.
"Taemin, do you want me to come over tonight?"
"Ohh um,"
Shit. I can't believe he's going to turn me down.
"Thanks Minho but you don't have to come over. I'm sure Jonghyun needs you more than I do."
"Right. Okay." Does Taemin not like me? Honestly, I have no idea how to show someone I like them. Jonghyun and Key are so good at it, they're experts on flirting and Onew has only ever loved Key anyway so it's not like he needed to after he confessed. I tried my hardest to show Taemin I care for him, but I think I come off as an over concerned parent. I don't know why I'm so drawn to him. Did I really only meet him this morning? I've really never felt this way before. I just want to be here for him. He's been through so much, he's such an amazing person. I mean, he has no family left, and look at what he's doing. He's dedicated his life to trying to help others, but because of that he thinks he has to be alone. Well that was before he met me. I'm going to show him that he can learn to love again.
"Thank you so much Minho."
"For what?"
"For looking after me." So Taemin only sees me as a caretaker. I want to tell him that he's wrong. I want to tell him it's because I want to give him the love he deserves. I want to fill the empty gap in him that was created when he lost his family. But I don't.
"Any time Taemin."
Taemin POV
My phone call with Minho left me feeling… confused. He's sending me mixed signals. I was so excited when I received the phone call from him, since I wasn't expecting him to call me tonight, even though he said he would. But now that the phone call's over I feel discouraged, but cared for. I mean I don't blame him for cancelling coming to the radio station with me, since he has a meeting. But I think that he just pities me. I don't think that he actually has feelings for me other than sympathy, and worry. I mean, the way he asked if he could come over. It seemed like he felt I needed a babysitter, and I don't. I've been on my own for long enough now. I don't need him to protect me in that way. I don't even know what I want him to be to me. It's still so unreal that I spent the whole day with Minho from Shinee. A million girls or guys would kill to be in my spot. But I'm not like other people. I'm on a mission. And I can't forget that my number one priority is for-filling the promise that I made to my father. And with that thought I drift of to sleep.
My appeal on Chinchin radio is going well. I basically repeat the same story I did on Star King, but this time there is a question answer round. A lot of the questions are actually about Shinee, like how long I've been a fan (since Lucifer came out) and what my favourite song is (I like Shinee's ballads like Romantic and Quasimodo) and whether Key had always been my favourite member (to which I replied that my favourite member changes for each song - even though I wanted to say Minho Minho Minho Minho MINHO CHOI). It kind of defeats the whole purpose. I'm starting to realise how against this whole idol concept in Korea I was becoming. I mean, I even had a little fan base of about 30 screaming girls greet me when I left the building. They were screaming "Taemin you're so handsome, Taemin you're so pretty!" But I want people to recognise the message I'm trying to spread, not me. I'm starting to think coming here was a bad idea.
Minho told me he would text me when his meeting was over, so now I guess I'll just wait at home for him. I'm about to hail a cab when I get a text.
From: Minho :)
To: Taemin :)
I'm so sorry the meeting is running late.
I don't know how long we're going to be
stuck here. Let's reschedule. I'm really
really sorry.
And this just proves my point about being an idol. Even if me and Minho were to get together, I would always have to deal with his idol life. His meetings and the screaming fan girls. It just represents something superficial. People should be caring about world hunger, not idols. I mean of course I like listening to their music, but I just wish people would be more concerned with more important things.
I decide to visit my family's grave alone. I was actually planning on going later in the week, but Minho wanted to go today, so I figure I should go anyway. Since I'm forced to deal with my family's death every time I make my speech, I'm used to the feeling I get when I walk in to the grave yard. They're buried together with my grandparents, who died from injuries received while fighting in a protest to free Tibet. I guess helping others is kind of a tradition in my family. I sit on a stool next to the graves. My parent's graves lay side by side. It's just like they were when they were alive. They were so perfect for each other it was scary. My father was stubborn as hell, determined and didn't let anything get in his way. My mother perfectly complimented him, since she was soft spoken, patient and completely understanding of his temper tantrums. I think I'm naturally a bit more like my mother, but I try hard to put up a strong front just like my father. I wonder whether they can really see me right now. I wonder whether they can see everything that I've been doing with my life.
"Umma, papa. I miss you." I decide to try to talk to them whether they can hear me or not. "I miss you so much!"
I feel the all too familiar feeling of tears streaming down my face. I cry almost every day, yet it still feels like my heart breaking each time I do.
"It's so hard. I'm so lonely. I just want you guys to be here. I want you to help me. I'm trying so hard but I'm not getting anywhere. Why do I have to do this alone?"
My eyes shift over to my brother's grave. HyunSoo. My big brother. He was the complete opposite of me. He didn't really take to the "helping others" family tradition. He wanted to be a rockstar. A lot of people called him selfish, and in a way he didn't care that much for others. Apart from when it came to me. He protected me like I was his whole life. If anyone would say something bad about me, or hurt me in any way he would go ballistic, fighting for me as if he couldn't bear to see me hurt. I miss him so much. I can't bring myself to talk to him. I have way too much to say. I took him for granted way too much. I knew that he loved me and didn't want to see me hurt, but I was always annoyed at him for not caring enough about anyone else. I mean he played with girls as if they were animals, and pushed people down to get to the top, and because of that I grew to be cold to him. But he was always there for me. And now I need him more than ever.
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AUTHOR: wemwems
GENRE: AU
PAIRINGS: 2min, OnKey, JongKey for now :)
RATING: PG-13 to NC-17
SUMMARY: Lee Taemin isn't a normal 17 year old boy. The death of his family has given him a new insight to life, and he is on a mission to change the world. However, he didn't plan on falling in love with Choi Minho, his favourite Korean idol, who loves him more than life itself. But which is more important to him: Being with the one man who can give him a second chance of having a family, or his dream to make the world a better place? If only he could have both...
A/N: I've been dying to post this all day, I just came back from school. And I just realised that I'm on my 4th chapter and the story is still basically on the same day! Seems like this is going to be a lonnggg fan fic! I've got sooo many ideas for coming chapters I can't wait to get it all out! Well enjoy the chapter xxx
PS- This chapter was really hard to write :(
Minho POV
“Come on you guys!! I told Taemin that all of us were going to be there!” Key and Onew are trying to bail out of dinner tonight, but Taemin is so looking forward to it. He’s in the bathroom right now, washing his face. That’s the second time I’ve seen him cry today.
“Did something happen with you two?” I ask Key. Gosh, I can hear him smiling on the other end of the phone. “So you finally picked?” Poor Jonghyun.
“Sorry Minho. We haven’t told Jonghyun yet and until we do I just can’t be around him.”
“Well when ARE you going to tell him. We’ve got a schedule tomorrow. “ Oh SHIT. We have a meeting with our manager tomorrow, but I told Taemin I’d go to the Chinchin radio broadcast with him. I’m going to have to bail on the radio broadcast but I’m definitely going to take him to his family’s grave afterwards.
“I’ll tell him soon. Sorry Minho, tell Taemin umma says hi!”
“No!”
“Whyyyyy?”
“Because number one, it’s creepy and number two, it’s … weird, and number trhee, I’M MAD AT YOU FOR BAILING ON US.”
“Minho we both know you’re just jealous that he picked me over you during the Star King recording.”
“Hey he said it was only because both of you speak En…”
“Gotta go Minho! Give Minnie my love!! Laterrzzz.”
I swear if Key wasn’t such a great friend, I would have clocked his diva face ages ago.
“Whoa, are you okay?” Taemin notices that I’m clenching the phone so tight that it looks like it’s about to snap.
“Oh I’m fine Taemin. By the way, I’m really sorry but Key and Onew can’t make it tonight. I guess it’s just going to be you, me and Jonghyun.” I hope he’s not too disappointed that the others can’t make it. Since he’s a big fan of Shinee, I wanted him to be able to eat out with all of us.
“Oh don’t worry about it. I’m happy to meet Jonghyun since I didn’t meet him at the recording today.” Hopefully Taemin isn’t too interested in Jonghyun. Well, Jonghyun is in love with Key anyway, so I guess I have nothing to worry about.
Key POV
Onew and I have been at the dorm all day, trying to figure out the best way to break the news to Jonghyun. Thankfully he’s been out all day, but I wonder where he is. He shouldn’t even be out in the first place, with his leg injured. After cancelling plans with Minho and cute little Taemin, we finally decided that this was the last time we’d run away. Next time we see Jonghyun we’ll both be completely honest and tell him that we love each other. And of course, I want to talk to Jonghyun privately as well. I need to tell him that I still love him, and probably always will. But I just feel that Onew and I need to give it a shot, because to be honest I think Onew loves me in a way Jonghyun never could.
“Kibum. What should we do while we wait for Jonghyun?” Onew asks, with lust in his eye.
“Hmmm, Onew. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” I say, licking my lips seductively as possible.
He grins from ear to ear. “I think I’m thinking exactly what you’re thinking.”
“But don’t you think it’s wrong? I mean, isn’t it too soon?” I don't want to take things to quickly now that we can finally be together.
“No not really. I’ve been waiting for ages.”
“Me too. But Onew yeobo, I think we need to think a bit more.”
“Aww why? Are you not in the mood?”
“Of course I want to. Oh what the hell, I can’t hold back any longer!”
“Yayyiee!!!! Let’s go let’s go!”
“I’m ready when you are.”
He gets up and starts putting his jacket on. “Huh? Onew yeobo, where are you going?”
“Well the chicken shop doesn’t deliver. Let’s go I’m hungry I haven’t eaten since lunch!!”
Oh dear… I guess this relationship is going to take some getting used to.
Taemin POV
It's hard to believe that Minho spent the whole day at my house. And now we're driving to the Japanese restaurant that Minho picked for us after I told him that my favourite food was sushi. It's not a long walk but Minho insists we take the car to avoid the cold and to avoid fan girls. I guess when you're an idol it's hard to go out in public.
I'm surprised to see Jonghyun already waiting for us. I'm not sure whether to shake his hand or bow, so I play it safe and bow. "Hello my name is Taemin."
"Hi I'm Jonghyun." he nods back. Already the atmosphere is tense.
"Jjong! Haven't seen you all day." Minho finally breaks the silence.
"Yeah I was in the park." He seemed really upset.
"Ohhh, I was in the park too!" I add in. But I got silence in return.
I look over at Minho, who looks concerned for Jonghyun.
"Hyung? Are you okay?"
"Yeh… I'm sorry I'm just not in a great mood." Jonghyun looks up and stares at me as if he's just noticed I'm in the room. "Taemin, have I met you before?"
"No you haven't. If you had I would have definitely remembered. I'm a big fan!" I smile nervously. Jonghyun smiles back at me.
"I hear you've caused a big commotion at your recording of Star King today."
"Ya!" Minho explains. "A big commotion is an understatement. Everyone is talking about him Jjong, it seems you're the only person who hasn't seen it."
"Well I'll hear it on the radio tomorrow morn…" He suddenly stops talking and stares at me again. I look over at Minho for help and Minho looks at Jonghyun with a WTF look on his face.
"JJONG! What the hell?"
Jonghyun is unaffected by Minho's screaming. He keeps staring at me. "Did you say you were at the park toda…." He suddenly brings his hands to his mouth. "OMO OMO OMO!! Taemin! Do you dance?"
"Hehehehehe well I.."
"I saw you dancing at the park today Taemin! I'm sure it was you! You were amazing!! Really I've never seen anyone dance like you before."
"You dance Taemin?" Minho looks shocked. Eeeesh this is kind of embarrassing.
"Um, well yeah as a hobby. I wanted to be a dancer until my father passed away." Damn why did I even say it. It always brings tension to whatever conversation I'm in, but it just comes out naturally.
"Oh I'm sorry," Jonghyun says. "Well what does your mother think about dancing?"
"Jjong just shutup." Minho looks pissed off.
"No Minho, it's okay. Jonghyun both my parents and my brother passed away. Don't worry about it let's just change the subject."
"I'm sorry. Um… anyway so have you ever taken dance lessons?"
"No I would have loved to though."
"Well you should totally come to the dance studio with us any time." He smiles warmly at me. My bias in Shinee has always been Minho, but Jonghyun came right after him. I can't help but blush at the way he's flirting with me. Though it's weird with Minho here aswell.
The rest of the night is fun. The three of us manage to keep the conversation flowing with no significant gaps. Finally when the meal's finished we decide it's time to go back. A part of me wishes that Minho could come back to my place with me. I just, I don't know whether he likes me in that way. He's so hard to read, unlike Jonghyun who openly flirts with me. I agree to let them walk me back to my apartment and then they'll head off to the dorm together. It's all for the best anyway, I need to wake up early for my radio broadcast.
As we leave the restaurant, I am hit by the strong smell of deep fried chicken from the chicken shop next door. The next few minutes are just, an intense blur.
I see Key and Onew walking out the chicken shop hand in hand.
I hear Jonghyun shouting out to them, "SO THIS IS HOW YOU GUYS TREAT ME HUH?"
And then before anyone can do anything to stop it, Jonghyun runs up to Onew and punches him smack on his face.
Key screams, and starts to cry. Jonghyun is crying swell.
"JJONG YOU IDIOT." Shouts Minho as he rushes to Key to help Onew get back up. Jonghyun tries to storm off but Key gets up and stops him. I run to help Minho hold Onew up.
"Jjong please. Just wait!"
"NO. Kibum. How could you do this to me?"
*Silence*
I feel like we should leave so that they can be alone, but we wouldn't go very far with Onew to carry.
"Jjong I'm sorry. I made my decision. It's Onew."
I expect Jonghyun to start shouting again, but he doesn't. He stares at the floor with a hard expression. He looks up and tears are streaming down his face.
"Why? Kibum. I love you. You know I do, you know I love you more than the world. You know we're meant to be together. So why are you with him? What are you doing with him, when I'm right here. We're so perfect for each other Kibum. I love you. Please. Please don't do this to me."
I can't believe this is happening. Thank goodness the streets are empty at the moment. I look down at Onew who is collapsed in our arms. He's crying. I'M crying. Everyone's just crying. Only Minho's not crying, though he's on the verge of tears.
"Jjong," Key says softly. He lifts a hand to wipe away Jonghyun's tears. "I know you love me. I know very well that we are great together. I know that part of my heart will always belong to you. I love you and I always will."
"Then why are you doing this to me Kibum? Why are you telling me you love me?"
"Because you need to understand why I've made my decision. I love both you and Onew, so much that it tears me apart. But my heart tells me to go to Onew, Jjong."
"What? That doesn't make sense Kibum. There has to be a reason why."
"No there doesn't. All I have to know is that Onew makes me happier than I have ever been. You and I have a great time together, but I see myself growing old with Onew. I'm so sorry." Key hugs Jonghyun tightly. This is definitely our cue to leave. We start limping back to their dorm with a slightly reluctant Onew.
After we drop him off, I want to go back with Minho to see if Jonghyun and Key are alright, but Minho insists I take a taxi home straight away. I want to go with him. I want to help him and Jonghyun and Key. But he's right. This is none of my business, and I should just go home. He sees me off into a taxi, and tells me he'll call me. I tell him I'll be waiting for him. As soon as we separate, I feel a wave of loneliness.
Jonghyun POV
I don't want to let go of Key. I don't want to just let him go running back in to Onew's arms. I breathe in his sweet scent and feel his warmth as we embrace each other. How can we not belong together. How? How am I supposed to see him with Onew everyday. This is so unreal. I can't believe this is happening to me. This is the last time I will be able to hold Key in my arms like this for a long time, and so I squeeze him tightly and whisper in his ear.
"I love you Kibum Kim. You may not think so, but I know we are meant to be together. You're my soulmate. The minute Onew hyung slips up, if he ever hurts you or makes you cry, I'm going to be here. I'll always love you."
Key is crying like a baby in my arms. I know he's made up his mind, and that he won't change it. But I'm going to make him regret it. I'm going to prove him wrong.
I see Minho sprinting towards us. I guess my time is up. I'm the one who pushes Key away, much to his surprise. I smile at him, and tell Minho to take him home.
"I'll see you guys back there in 10 minutes. I'm taking the long way around."
As I walk home alone, I imagine myself with Key in the future. I imagine myself old and growing up with him. He had it wrong. It's me and him, not him and Onew. And I'm going to patiently wait until the day I can prove him wrong. I finished the walk back home with a smile on my face.
Onew POV
I can't believe Jonghyun punched me. I can't believe we hurt him like that. I was so focused on making Key mine that I forgot about what would happen after I finally got him. I wasn't worried when I saw Key and Jonghyun hugging. I knew it was a hug goodbye. I know Key loves me as much as I love him, and that he's not going anywhere. Dammit my nose hurts like hell. I think my front teeth are about to fall out. How long are they going to take to get back? I try to imagine myself as an old man with Key by my side, when door bursts open and Key comes in crying with Minho.
"Thanks Minho. Thankyou so much." I thank him.
"Anyway time hyung. You two go to sleep. I'm going to wait up for Jonghyun."
I take Key, or rather Key takes me into the bedroom that he and Minho share.
We squash up on his bed together.
"Baby, is your nose alright?"
"Don't worry about it, I barely felt a thing."
"I'm so sorry." He starts crying again. It's like daggers in my heart.
"Shhh. Shhh Bummie stop crying. You have nothing to be sorry for."
I look in to his eyes, full of tears, and I know that for as long as I live, I am going to be with this man.
Minho POV
Finally the door opens and Jonghyun walks in. He has a smile on his face. "You okay man?"
"Yeh. Minho don't worry about me. It hurts, sure. But I'm going to be fine."
He disappears in to his bedroom, the one he shares with Onew. I guess I'll be sleeping on the sofa tonight. Jonghyun's not one to hide his feelings. I was expecting him to break down. But I'm relieved that I wouldn't have to mend any broken hearts tonight.
I finally have a chance to call Taemin. He picks up after the 1st ring:
"Hello?"
"Taemin! I'm sorry about today's events."
"Don't worry about it. I hope everyone is okay."
"They will be. Listen Taemin we have a group meeting tomorrow and I don't know how long it's going to last. So go to Chinchin radio and we'll meet you there later."
"Oh, okay."
I hear disappointment in his voice. Dammit, I told him I would be there for him. I told him I would make sure he was never alone. I gather up all the courage I posses to say this next line.
"Taemin, do you want me to come over tonight?"
"Ohh um,"
Shit. I can't believe he's going to turn me down.
"Thanks Minho but you don't have to come over. I'm sure Jonghyun needs you more than I do."
"Right. Okay." Does Taemin not like me? Honestly, I have no idea how to show someone I like them. Jonghyun and Key are so good at it, they're experts on flirting and Onew has only ever loved Key anyway so it's not like he needed to after he confessed. I tried my hardest to show Taemin I care for him, but I think I come off as an over concerned parent. I don't know why I'm so drawn to him. Did I really only meet him this morning? I've really never felt this way before. I just want to be here for him. He's been through so much, he's such an amazing person. I mean, he has no family left, and look at what he's doing. He's dedicated his life to trying to help others, but because of that he thinks he has to be alone. Well that was before he met me. I'm going to show him that he can learn to love again.
"Thank you so much Minho."
"For what?"
"For looking after me." So Taemin only sees me as a caretaker. I want to tell him that he's wrong. I want to tell him it's because I want to give him the love he deserves. I want to fill the empty gap in him that was created when he lost his family. But I don't.
"Any time Taemin."
Taemin POV
My phone call with Minho left me feeling… confused. He's sending me mixed signals. I was so excited when I received the phone call from him, since I wasn't expecting him to call me tonight, even though he said he would. But now that the phone call's over I feel discouraged, but cared for. I mean I don't blame him for cancelling coming to the radio station with me, since he has a meeting. But I think that he just pities me. I don't think that he actually has feelings for me other than sympathy, and worry. I mean, the way he asked if he could come over. It seemed like he felt I needed a babysitter, and I don't. I've been on my own for long enough now. I don't need him to protect me in that way. I don't even know what I want him to be to me. It's still so unreal that I spent the whole day with Minho from Shinee. A million girls or guys would kill to be in my spot. But I'm not like other people. I'm on a mission. And I can't forget that my number one priority is for-filling the promise that I made to my father. And with that thought I drift of to sleep.
My appeal on Chinchin radio is going well. I basically repeat the same story I did on Star King, but this time there is a question answer round. A lot of the questions are actually about Shinee, like how long I've been a fan (since Lucifer came out) and what my favourite song is (I like Shinee's ballads like Romantic and Quasimodo) and whether Key had always been my favourite member (to which I replied that my favourite member changes for each song - even though I wanted to say Minho Minho Minho Minho MINHO CHOI). It kind of defeats the whole purpose. I'm starting to realise how against this whole idol concept in Korea I was becoming. I mean, I even had a little fan base of about 30 screaming girls greet me when I left the building. They were screaming "Taemin you're so handsome, Taemin you're so pretty!" But I want people to recognise the message I'm trying to spread, not me. I'm starting to think coming here was a bad idea.
Minho told me he would text me when his meeting was over, so now I guess I'll just wait at home for him. I'm about to hail a cab when I get a text.
From: Minho :)
To: Taemin :)
I'm so sorry the meeting is running late.
I don't know how long we're going to be
stuck here. Let's reschedule. I'm really
really sorry.
And this just proves my point about being an idol. Even if me and Minho were to get together, I would always have to deal with his idol life. His meetings and the screaming fan girls. It just represents something superficial. People should be caring about world hunger, not idols. I mean of course I like listening to their music, but I just wish people would be more concerned with more important things.
I decide to visit my family's grave alone. I was actually planning on going later in the week, but Minho wanted to go today, so I figure I should go anyway. Since I'm forced to deal with my family's death every time I make my speech, I'm used to the feeling I get when I walk in to the grave yard. They're buried together with my grandparents, who died from injuries received while fighting in a protest to free Tibet. I guess helping others is kind of a tradition in my family. I sit on a stool next to the graves. My parent's graves lay side by side. It's just like they were when they were alive. They were so perfect for each other it was scary. My father was stubborn as hell, determined and didn't let anything get in his way. My mother perfectly complimented him, since she was soft spoken, patient and completely understanding of his temper tantrums. I think I'm naturally a bit more like my mother, but I try hard to put up a strong front just like my father. I wonder whether they can really see me right now. I wonder whether they can see everything that I've been doing with my life.
"Umma, papa. I miss you." I decide to try to talk to them whether they can hear me or not. "I miss you so much!"
I feel the all too familiar feeling of tears streaming down my face. I cry almost every day, yet it still feels like my heart breaking each time I do.
"It's so hard. I'm so lonely. I just want you guys to be here. I want you to help me. I'm trying so hard but I'm not getting anywhere. Why do I have to do this alone?"
My eyes shift over to my brother's grave. HyunSoo. My big brother. He was the complete opposite of me. He didn't really take to the "helping others" family tradition. He wanted to be a rockstar. A lot of people called him selfish, and in a way he didn't care that much for others. Apart from when it came to me. He protected me like I was his whole life. If anyone would say something bad about me, or hurt me in any way he would go ballistic, fighting for me as if he couldn't bear to see me hurt. I miss him so much. I can't bring myself to talk to him. I have way too much to say. I took him for granted way too much. I knew that he loved me and didn't want to see me hurt, but I was always annoyed at him for not caring enough about anyone else. I mean he played with girls as if they were animals, and pushed people down to get to the top, and because of that I grew to be cold to him. But he was always there for me. And now I need him more than ever.
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