i have the day off. i think i'm going to do my work out and then go grab coffee in east town so i can have a longer walk. today seems like a reproduction, like today might have been cloned and has been played out before. i hate days like that but i'm going to try to pretend like it feels new.

i bought a nice notebook at schuler's and started ( Read more... )

 sometimes i feel like i should have to apologize for who i am and sometimes i don't give a fuck what anyone thinks. it seems to me i have these two polar opposite sides of me and i wish i could change them at will. sometimes i want to burn all my stuff and not have a home once again. everything is crowding and suffocating me, all of my belongings ( Read more... )

it has been decided from now on my life will consist of:

- working
- sewing
- drawing/painting
- working out/sleeping enough/drinking lots of water/actually taking my vitamins
- spending time outside
- making new and/or good foods
- being friends
- music

ready, set, go!

 one day i'll always keep fresh cut flowers from my own garden in my house. and wake up early to drink coffee and get ready for the day hours in advance. for now i will try to be okay with all day bed head and burning incense.

 it's funny how things work out. i'm in my room listening to colin have a conversation about video games with anthony. this isn't rare or special and they talk, especially about games, all the time. they even work together nowadays. but just now i thought about how roughly four years ago i was dating anthony and he was in a class at grcc with colin ( Read more... )

my tummy is upset today. i'm working at schuler's and then i'm not sure but maybe hanging out with my sister. it's crazy to think that in a few days i'll be an aunt. i'm kinda not sure what that role is supposed to include because i've never been close with any of my own aunts. i think i just want to try my best to be a kick ass role model for this ( Read more... )

 so i've been back on here pretty consistently just to realize other people do not get on here consistently anymore. hmmm.

i'm drinking coffee and it's a quarter past 6 am. i woke up to make colin breakfast before work and am staying up to be productive and try to feel alright about life again. the goals are cleaning house, laundry, working out, ( Read more... )

i don't think my bunny is feeling well. he hasn't eaten today and just turns his head whenever i try to give him food. i'm really worried he's sick. he's pretty old and i think that might have something to do with it. i spent all day before work hanging out with him on the couch and now i have him laying with me in bed. i really hope he starts ( Read more... )

 i've been in this crazy weird mood lately.
i've been having these ups and downs and zero motivation.
i hate being whiny but this mood is getting fairly ridiculous and i can't shake it.

i can't wait till school starts for the fall.
i'll focus on school, work a little and my money problems will disappear.
i'm so antsy and i don't know what for.
and at ( Read more... )

 just tried to write a serious livejournal entry 3 different times and each time i pressed the delete button to erase something and my web browser sent me back to the previous page and everything was lost. i spent a good half an hour or so on it and now i have to leave for work. fuck!!!

for now i will leave you all with this:


( Read more... )