god i've sunk so low with will i hardly recognize myself. all the anger and arguing about the most worthless shit ( Read more... )

lately i can't make my brain stop. i always try to do something thinking about what i want and what i want to do and what i want to make time for and pratice and acheive and how much time it will take to get there and where to get the time and how to stick to it. i can't stop thinking thinking thinking and just sit calmly and be receptive. i don't ( Read more... )

on another note, almost everything i dreamt last night came true today. a truely bizarre morning.

Months have passed. I went to jail and court and trial and won, in the sense it was dismissed ( Read more... )

This is exactly how i felt today. I was blaming it on PMS. 
That's not entirely valid lately considering birth control has me hormonal 24/7. I almost quit all three of my jobs this week instead of just the one. almost... i was super close i just couldn't fucking stand it anymore. and then i considering beating up a bum to rid myself of my anger.

The ( Read more... )

I was so fucking fed up started crying about ten mins ago. so i decided to distract myself by logging online, and this is what i found.
the older i get the more these things apply to me.
i'm nothing but resentment today. This may be accurate if i weren't PMSing, but i am and my lid has blown.
and the only way i'm keeping the peace is by trying ( Read more... )

Usually i just read my horoscope when i check my e-mail. i get it sent every day, but usually only check it on sun- tuesday when i home and with computer.

Tonight i'm feeling strange and anxious. Maybe everything i've been doing is catching up to me. but it felt different than that, more deep shifting, or loss, or warning.

Will and i have been ( Read more... )

Today was my baby's due date.

well, today today is not the 26th, and a day late for baby.

I wish i would go into labor, and wishing on the time has never failed me.

upon writing the last entry i ran into some conflict with the word "relatable" and it's spelling.

Now, i was certain that this is indeed a word. Trying to describe what i wanted in any other way didn't seem as efficient, and it seemed illogical that 'to relate' wouldn't have a form that would fit.

Live Journal, Microsoft Word and my mom all ( Read more... )

People love me. And i love people. Pregnancy gives you a new vulnerability that seems to make you more relatable.

not only that, but the people who have asked to be at the hospital lately has surprised me.

I'm cared for!