so i got an email from bernard basically saying that he's done and while i understand why and i know that its best for him it makes me so sad that the one person who really believed in me gave up... i guess its time to wipe the lipstick off my mirror. "So go and do your thing, best of luck to you. If you ever comeback to new york, don't call me." i ( Read more... )

I got my phase three yeeeeeah. My parents left yesterday (and the day before….) and it was a good weekend. A l;ittle strained to keep things nice and pleasant but it was fun nonetheless. My brother was being a little shit and said “you fuckin retard I fuckin hate you” the first time I got to talk to him since Ive been back at school… so I hung up ( Read more... )

brian posted on my deviantart... said he understands... i said he always did... makes me really sad to think about that, it makes me wonder if he thinks at all about me and if he does if he feels at all bad... id rather not think about it at all and just remember "the only way to survive is to look through solipsist eyes"

once again a message from plotfatass, the love of my life. it's dom's bday in 2 days. today i find out about phase3... ive given up on deciphering the system. my parents get here tomorrow. theyre bringing me a sandwich from bagel bobs. im puzzled as to who the angry comment is from on my last post... strange. ah well, ill post more later when i ( Read more... )

so last night i wrote this really long depressing melodramatic ramble that i was going to post on here but now i think my computer has been unnetworked and i cant currently find my cigarpro so i guess ill do it later during my study hall instead of blue slip. im really sad right now. i need my friends. i need reasons to do well because right now i ( Read more... )

oh good lord i got posts from gideon and arango and i couldnt be happier. i didnt get my phase 3 but i was told that i get to go back on trails... yes... my favorite... all because of that stupid note that i wrote to jeff the day that he got sent away. damnit it was a month ago, my head was in a bad place, i was in one of my "theres no hope for me ( Read more... )

I hope I get my phase 3 today… I think im going to get reemed in group by Katie squared (nishkian and libby) but what can ya do. Tawny said she approved me, Jacobs said he approved me, I dunno about dorm life and modules. I think modules were good, dorm life is a bit iffy but I think the new staff digs me and that I wasn’t denied even if I wasn’t ( Read more... )

to jess lawrence -- i will gladly ask taylor if he has recieved any of your letters, trails wasnt horrendous... my dad sent me a letter saying that he thinks that jefferson is "wise" hahaha it was kinda endearing. and gabe, i might be a junior next year too. i'm really sorry that shit didnt work out with jamie. but if you guys are okay being ( Read more... )

So trails…. Yeah it was a blast lemme tell ya… it actually wasn’t as bad as everyone says it is, I didn’t have to carry rocks or hike 15 miles a day and Jefferson wasn’t mean to me. It was like wilderness except we couldn’t talk, had to walk 10 feet apart from each other, and had no ramen. Lack of ramen is miserable. Mice ate my sausage too so all ( Read more... )

So once again im in study hall… cec gave me brian gabe and dorfman’s school pictures, its phenomenal. Brian looks ridiculous. I really miss him a lot and at the same time it feels like he was never here and I never knew him. Its weird. Yesterday was really shitty. I had such a shitty off form group and I don’t remember anything that I said and only ( Read more... )