"You know how this is ( Read more... )

 I hunger for your sleek laugh and your hands the color of a furious harvest. I want to eat the sunbeams flaring in your beauty
- Neruda

I need to learn to harness the potential power of productivity that the weekend lays down at my feet and I simply stomp over ( Read more... )

 done living with women. threshold capacity of women's logic and living style was reached long ago.

except the lesbos, they're cool.

in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten.

can't do theatre well, can't do science well. 
what the fuck am i doing? pretending to be good at things that I'm not good at, just because they are the only things I like to do.

 goals for this semester:

1. not be raped by chemistry, for the first time
2. no more than one sequential all-nighter in a row, and no more than 5 total
3. have a social life (opposite of last semester)
4. act or design in a play that i'm actually proud of
5. publish my research from the summer
6. outdoor adventures

some of these (anti-chemistry rape and ( Read more... )

my dad called me today while i was in the car with two friends, and yelled at me about my mom, made me bawl for like 20 minutes straight.. making an awkward drive with friends even more embarrassing and exposed. i feel violated, used, angry and powerless. he is so blind he doesn't even realize that he has a problem. alcohol and depression have ( Read more... )

All along I have been successfully numbing myself to all the shit my family has thrown around the past few years in order to be "the sane one".. but that definition of sanity was only for the appearance. I was ok with being fakely ok for my mom's sake, to help her. sometimes weaker people need to know that someone going through the same thing is ( Read more... )

i desperately need to be out in nature. isolated and surrounded.