FIC - Catch me if I fall - JANSIS
Title: Catch me if I fall - JANSIS
Author: wheelie47
Beta: Valenti1965 - Thank you for all your wonderful encouragement, Louise!
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Van and Jake
Word count: 5,636
Summary: Is a weekend away with Jake just what Van needs or will it be his worst nightmare?
Disclaimer: Don’t own characters, am not associated in any way with ATWT or Van and Jake. No offence intended.
AN: Written for the nukeminibang Thanks for doing a wonderful job of hosting, Nic!
Chapter 1, Chapter 2
Chapter 1
“When are you going to tell him, Van?” Alex asked as she looked sideward at her friend.
Van had a startled, panicked look on his face as he furtively glanced over at Jake, who had his back to them and was currently cooking up a storm in the Vermont skiing lodge’s kitchen.
For several long moments he watched the tall brunette moving effortlessly around, pulling together the ingredients of their breakfast. Van had to swallow hard as he saw the muscles flex and move in the tight confines of Jake’s grey sweater and the way his jeans hung low on his hips, exposing a tantalizing strip of skin atop the waistband of his underpants whenever he stretched for something.
He tore his eyes away and looked back at Alex to find that she was staring at him intently.
“No-one is sorrier than I am that you and Tyler split up, Van. You guys were good together.” She gripped his arm supportively. Van was grateful for the gesture and the words. It had been months since him and Tyler had agreed to go their separate ways. There had been no-one else involved… no screaming matches… they had just grown apart before finally agreeing that it wasn’t working anymore. He still keenly regretted that they hadn’t worked out.
“But you have to tell Jake. You know he’ll be really upset when he finds out that you’ve been keeping something like this from him. You guys are friends! And friends talk. You know… actually tell each other what’s going on in their lives.”
Van couldn’t deny that. Jake had organized this long weekend skiing trip to Vermont and invited some of the old ATWT gang. Everybody else had spent the time catching up and sharing what was going on with them as well as honing their skiing skills.
Well… in his case it was more of honing his ability to actually stand up on the skis without falling over.
But he couldn’t bring himself to confide in Jake about the split.
Alex still had her hand on his arm and he looked up when she squeezed it gently. “Why haven’t you told him?”
“Why haven’t you told who what?” Marnie asked as she dropped into the seat next to Alex and looked over at Van questioningly.
“Just because.” He stuck his chin out defiantly as if daring Alex to doubt that reasoning whilst he tried to ignore Marnie’s question and the look she was giving him.
“Just because?!” Alex mimicked. “What are you? Twelve? Why not, Van?”
Van felt himself buckling under the combined onslaught of the two women’s stares. “I…” he began then dropped his gaze, unable to continue.
“Oh. My. God!” Alex exclaimed and Van’s eyes shot back up to look at her before he quickly glanced over to the kitchen to see if Jake had overheard. But the tall brunette was completely oblivious as he worked away in the kitchen.
Satisfied, Van turned back to face Alex with a wary expression on his face. “What?”
“Don’t you what me, Van Hansis! You know perfectly well what I mean. It all makes sense now. You like Jake… like him like that!”
Van had to roll his eyes at that line. Because… really?!
“You’re kidding me?! You have a thing for Jake?!” Marnie asked, her eyes widening in shock as she caught up with lightning speed on what was going on here.
Van shot a look back at Jake who appeared not to have heard a thing seeing as he conveniently had his head in a kitchen cupboard, searching for plates.
“Geeze!” Van hissed as he turned back to face the two women. “Will you keep your voices down?”
“Van, you have to tell him,” Marnie encouraged her friend.
“Why? What would be the point? Just so I could feel more miserable?” Van would’ve admitted that he sounded whinny even to himself. He would’ve … if he hadn’t felt so miserable right about then.
He hadn’t wanted to come for this four day break of ‘skiing fun’ as Jake had put it in the first place.
But the man had worn him down and circumvented every excuse Van had come up with. He had said he’d got a busy schedule but Jake had come up with a whole host of dates and told him to pick what suited. He’d pointed out that he hadn’t skied in a while and Jake had brushed it off, saying he’d pick it back up in no time and he’d be there to lend a hand if need be… like that would’ve helped the situation. Van had nearly called at the last minute to say that something had come up and he wouldn’t be able to make it after all if he hadn’t suspected Jake would’ve either suggested they cancel until Van could make it or get on a plane to LA and bring him to Vermont himself.
Now that he was here, Van wished he had put up a harder fight to stay away because being around Jake again after many months of not spending much time together was killing him. The minute he’d seen him, Van had been painfully reminded of the attraction to Jake that had been bubbling away just below the surface for such a long time… probably since the first time he’d met the ridiculously tall and ridiculously handsome brunette, if he was truly honest with himself.
Back then Van had been totally committed to his relationship with Tyler.
But now that buffer wasn’t there anymore the ache he felt for his former co-star sharpened into an intense want that took his breath away.
“What would be the point?” he murmured again.
“But you guys would be great together,” Marnie encouraged as she leant closer to Van.
Van looked up at her in exasperation. “It doesn’t work like that, Marnie!”
He threw a glance at Jake’s back before turning to face the two women again. “And aren’t you forgetting something? Like the ‘he’s straight’ thing.”
Both women followed Van’s glance. “I’m not entirely sure about that, Van. Maybe he’s just waiting for the right guy to come along - you,” Alex encouraged.
For the second time in their conversation, Van had to roll his eyes… so hard this time that his pupils nearly disappeared from view.
He paused, took a deep calming breath before shaking his head. “I still don’t think there’s any getting past the ‘straight’ thing.”
“Getting past what straight thing?” Jake’s deep baritone startled all three of them as he suddenly appeared by the side of the table, both of his large hands laden down with huge dinner sized plates almost overflowing with pancakes, eggs and bacon.
After leaning down to place them in the center of the table, Jake plopped down in the empty seat next to Van. “What straight thing?” he asked again when he got no response to his first question from the faces staring back at him.
Van’s throat went dry as Jake’s deep blue gaze settled on him for the answer. He found himself unable to talk… unable to think of an adequate response to that question. His heart pounded in his chest as he wondered just how much of their conversation Jake had overheard.
There was a long pause of silence around the table as Van and Jake stared at each other and the two women watched both men intently.
Alex broke the silence by reaching for one of the slices of bacon. “We were just wondering how much of this tasty looking breakfast is going straight to our hips,” she laughed a little too loudly before popping half of the slice in her mouth and biting into it.
For a moment Jake didn’t turn away from Van, his eyes narrowing as if he didn’t believe Alex for a minute. And, frankly, Van couldn’t blame him either. He wouldn’t have believed that line if he was in Jake’s shoes. Jake was a pretty astute guy.
But something in Jake must have made him let it go because he eventually tore his gaze away from Van’s to smile widely over at the two women. “I don’t think the two of you need worry about your hips anytime soon, sweetheart.”
“Can I smell breakfast?” They were interrupted by Billy as he bounded into the dining area like some over-exuberant puppy.
“Typical of you to surface from your pit when all the cooking and hard work has been done,” Marnie quipped.
Billy just grinned at her and flopped down into a chair opposite Van and next to Jake.
Van only really noticed that he was still staring at Jake when he was distracted by the movement of Billy reaching over the table to grab one of the food laden plates and start shoveling some of it onto a plate in front of him.
“Christ, Billy. Leave some for the rest of us!” he exclaimed, glad to be distracted by something - or someone - else for a little while.
“What?” his friend responded with a mouthful of pancake. “It’s the three of us that are leaving today.” Billy indicated himself and the two women to his left with a wide sweep of his fork.
“We need to fuel up before heading home,” he grinned and patted his stomach. “You guys still have a whole day of frolicking in the snow before you head home. Think of us, dudes.”
Van shook his head at Billy. “Frolicking in the snow?!” he mimicked as he tried to ignore the effect that the mention of frolicking anywhere with Jake was having on him. “You are an over grown puppy, man!”
Billy just grinned at him and flipped him the finger with his free hand as he stuck a fork full of egg into his mouth. “Mmm, Jake! This is so good.”
“Nice try, Billy!” Jake chuckled as he threw a dish cloth at his friend’s head. “You still get to do the dishes.”
Later, after everything had been cleared away and the three departing friends’ bags had been packed and loaded into respective cars, they all stood in a circle, hugging and kissing their goodbyes with promises of keeping in touch and not leaving it so long next time.
As Alex reached up onto her tiptoes to kiss Van, she leaned in to whisper into his ear before they parted. “Tell him. You have to.”
Then they were gone with Billy’s departing shout of “Later, dudes! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t!” hanging in the air.
Van and Jake stood side-by-side, their arms and shoulders almost but not quite touching as they watched the cars disappear from view.
Finally, Jake turned to face Van and paused as if considering what to say.
Van hated that the friendship that had once felt so easy now felt awkward and he blamed himself for that because… well… who else was to blame?
Jake began to smile his slow burner of a smile that made Van want to either pat his cheek or grab him, slam him against the nearest wall and kiss him hard or run for cover and hide… he couldn’t decide which.
“How about we make the most of our last day? The last one to the slopes makes dinner tonight!” Jake challenged as he dashed back inside leaving Van to follow in behind him, clenching his fists and groaning in pent-up sexual tension…
…
The brilliant azure of the cloudless sky met the pristine white of the dazzling snow in a postcard perfect view that quite literally took Van’s breath away.
They had been here since Friday and each time they had ventured out onto the piste, he had never failed to be stunned by the beauty of this state.
Looking around at the scenery now, Van found himself relaxing a little. Rays of sunlight bathed everything in a cleansing light and he felt better than he had in days.
That was until he turned and saw Jake grinning at him with that wide, stupid and completely adorable and ever so sexy grin and he felt the ache hit him again with full force.
Jake was waving at him with both hands and was almost bouncing up and down with that child-like glee he always had when he was excited about something. “You have to try this run, Van! It’s amazing!” he shouted across the distance between them.
Van groaned but couldn’t help but smile back at Jake because… really… the man’s grin was infectious. He nodded and waved back before trying to get his skis pointing in the right direction.
“Come on, old guy!” Jake teased Van as he was half-way to him, making him look up sharply.
Distracted by Jake’s wide and teasing smile, Van momentarily lost control of his feet and managed to get the tips of his skis crossed.
As he fell heavily to the ground he felt something in his right knee give and a sharp pain shot through the joint.
“Fuck!” he groaned as he grasped his leg.
Moments later, he heard the whoosh of skis coming to a stop beside him and suddenly the bright sunlight was partially blocked by a tall figure.
“Shit! Van, are you ok?” Jake’s deep voice was full of concern and he heard his friend unclip his skis and kneel down next to him.
Then Jake’s hand was on his face, applying gentle pressure to get Van to look at him.
“Are you ok?”
Van wasn’t sure what was worse - the pain in his knee, the feel of Jake’s hand on him even if it was through the material of Jake’s glove or the way the intense blue was staring back at him. None of which were helping his current mood or state of mind.
“I’m fine!” he grumbled… almost snapped … as he tried to get to his feet.
“Wait! Just lie still a minute,” Jake instructed as he pushed Van down a little and moved to unclip Van’s skis before gently feeling his leg, checking for any protruding bones.
Van groaned again and closed his eyes because… really… did Jake have to keep putting his hands on him?
He had to get up and back to the lodge because Jake’s proximity was killing him.
Van needed time on his own and space to think… to calm down.
“I said I’m fine. Just let me up!” Van insisted and this time he managed to get to his feet with the aid of his ski pole and some unsolicited help from Jake.
Really! Jake had to stop touching him. Like… now!
“Let’s get you back to the lodge so we can take a look at that knee,” Jake said as he looped his strong arm around Van’s waist to offer support.
Van felt himself getting more and more uncomfortable by the minute as, despite the pain, Jake’s closeness was starting to make his body react. “I can manage,” he muttered as he pushed with his shoulder a little against Jake’s hold.
Using the ski pole as a support he tentatively put a little weight on his right leg before hobbling off in the direction of the lodge.
“Van?!” Jake’s confused voice followed him as he left the other man behind.
Van didn’t care that he could clearly hear the hurt in Jake’s voice.
He just kept on walking.
No… scratch that… he did care that the hurt was there. He did care that he’d been the one to cause it. He did care. Too fucking much. That was the problem…
Chapter 2
Author: wheelie47
Beta: Valenti1965 - Thank you for all your wonderful encouragement, Louise!
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Van and Jake
Word count: 5,636
Summary: Is a weekend away with Jake just what Van needs or will it be his worst nightmare?
Disclaimer: Don’t own characters, am not associated in any way with ATWT or Van and Jake. No offence intended.
AN: Written for the nukeminibang Thanks for doing a wonderful job of hosting, Nic!
Chapter 1, Chapter 2
Chapter 1
“When are you going to tell him, Van?” Alex asked as she looked sideward at her friend.
Van had a startled, panicked look on his face as he furtively glanced over at Jake, who had his back to them and was currently cooking up a storm in the Vermont skiing lodge’s kitchen.
For several long moments he watched the tall brunette moving effortlessly around, pulling together the ingredients of their breakfast. Van had to swallow hard as he saw the muscles flex and move in the tight confines of Jake’s grey sweater and the way his jeans hung low on his hips, exposing a tantalizing strip of skin atop the waistband of his underpants whenever he stretched for something.
He tore his eyes away and looked back at Alex to find that she was staring at him intently.
“No-one is sorrier than I am that you and Tyler split up, Van. You guys were good together.” She gripped his arm supportively. Van was grateful for the gesture and the words. It had been months since him and Tyler had agreed to go their separate ways. There had been no-one else involved… no screaming matches… they had just grown apart before finally agreeing that it wasn’t working anymore. He still keenly regretted that they hadn’t worked out.
“But you have to tell Jake. You know he’ll be really upset when he finds out that you’ve been keeping something like this from him. You guys are friends! And friends talk. You know… actually tell each other what’s going on in their lives.”
Van couldn’t deny that. Jake had organized this long weekend skiing trip to Vermont and invited some of the old ATWT gang. Everybody else had spent the time catching up and sharing what was going on with them as well as honing their skiing skills.
Well… in his case it was more of honing his ability to actually stand up on the skis without falling over.
But he couldn’t bring himself to confide in Jake about the split.
Alex still had her hand on his arm and he looked up when she squeezed it gently. “Why haven’t you told him?”
“Why haven’t you told who what?” Marnie asked as she dropped into the seat next to Alex and looked over at Van questioningly.
“Just because.” He stuck his chin out defiantly as if daring Alex to doubt that reasoning whilst he tried to ignore Marnie’s question and the look she was giving him.
“Just because?!” Alex mimicked. “What are you? Twelve? Why not, Van?”
Van felt himself buckling under the combined onslaught of the two women’s stares. “I…” he began then dropped his gaze, unable to continue.
“Oh. My. God!” Alex exclaimed and Van’s eyes shot back up to look at her before he quickly glanced over to the kitchen to see if Jake had overheard. But the tall brunette was completely oblivious as he worked away in the kitchen.
Satisfied, Van turned back to face Alex with a wary expression on his face. “What?”
“Don’t you what me, Van Hansis! You know perfectly well what I mean. It all makes sense now. You like Jake… like him like that!”
Van had to roll his eyes at that line. Because… really?!
“You’re kidding me?! You have a thing for Jake?!” Marnie asked, her eyes widening in shock as she caught up with lightning speed on what was going on here.
Van shot a look back at Jake who appeared not to have heard a thing seeing as he conveniently had his head in a kitchen cupboard, searching for plates.
“Geeze!” Van hissed as he turned back to face the two women. “Will you keep your voices down?”
“Van, you have to tell him,” Marnie encouraged her friend.
“Why? What would be the point? Just so I could feel more miserable?” Van would’ve admitted that he sounded whinny even to himself. He would’ve … if he hadn’t felt so miserable right about then.
He hadn’t wanted to come for this four day break of ‘skiing fun’ as Jake had put it in the first place.
But the man had worn him down and circumvented every excuse Van had come up with. He had said he’d got a busy schedule but Jake had come up with a whole host of dates and told him to pick what suited. He’d pointed out that he hadn’t skied in a while and Jake had brushed it off, saying he’d pick it back up in no time and he’d be there to lend a hand if need be… like that would’ve helped the situation. Van had nearly called at the last minute to say that something had come up and he wouldn’t be able to make it after all if he hadn’t suspected Jake would’ve either suggested they cancel until Van could make it or get on a plane to LA and bring him to Vermont himself.
Now that he was here, Van wished he had put up a harder fight to stay away because being around Jake again after many months of not spending much time together was killing him. The minute he’d seen him, Van had been painfully reminded of the attraction to Jake that had been bubbling away just below the surface for such a long time… probably since the first time he’d met the ridiculously tall and ridiculously handsome brunette, if he was truly honest with himself.
Back then Van had been totally committed to his relationship with Tyler.
But now that buffer wasn’t there anymore the ache he felt for his former co-star sharpened into an intense want that took his breath away.
“What would be the point?” he murmured again.
“But you guys would be great together,” Marnie encouraged as she leant closer to Van.
Van looked up at her in exasperation. “It doesn’t work like that, Marnie!”
He threw a glance at Jake’s back before turning to face the two women again. “And aren’t you forgetting something? Like the ‘he’s straight’ thing.”
Both women followed Van’s glance. “I’m not entirely sure about that, Van. Maybe he’s just waiting for the right guy to come along - you,” Alex encouraged.
For the second time in their conversation, Van had to roll his eyes… so hard this time that his pupils nearly disappeared from view.
He paused, took a deep calming breath before shaking his head. “I still don’t think there’s any getting past the ‘straight’ thing.”
“Getting past what straight thing?” Jake’s deep baritone startled all three of them as he suddenly appeared by the side of the table, both of his large hands laden down with huge dinner sized plates almost overflowing with pancakes, eggs and bacon.
After leaning down to place them in the center of the table, Jake plopped down in the empty seat next to Van. “What straight thing?” he asked again when he got no response to his first question from the faces staring back at him.
Van’s throat went dry as Jake’s deep blue gaze settled on him for the answer. He found himself unable to talk… unable to think of an adequate response to that question. His heart pounded in his chest as he wondered just how much of their conversation Jake had overheard.
There was a long pause of silence around the table as Van and Jake stared at each other and the two women watched both men intently.
Alex broke the silence by reaching for one of the slices of bacon. “We were just wondering how much of this tasty looking breakfast is going straight to our hips,” she laughed a little too loudly before popping half of the slice in her mouth and biting into it.
For a moment Jake didn’t turn away from Van, his eyes narrowing as if he didn’t believe Alex for a minute. And, frankly, Van couldn’t blame him either. He wouldn’t have believed that line if he was in Jake’s shoes. Jake was a pretty astute guy.
But something in Jake must have made him let it go because he eventually tore his gaze away from Van’s to smile widely over at the two women. “I don’t think the two of you need worry about your hips anytime soon, sweetheart.”
“Can I smell breakfast?” They were interrupted by Billy as he bounded into the dining area like some over-exuberant puppy.
“Typical of you to surface from your pit when all the cooking and hard work has been done,” Marnie quipped.
Billy just grinned at her and flopped down into a chair opposite Van and next to Jake.
Van only really noticed that he was still staring at Jake when he was distracted by the movement of Billy reaching over the table to grab one of the food laden plates and start shoveling some of it onto a plate in front of him.
“Christ, Billy. Leave some for the rest of us!” he exclaimed, glad to be distracted by something - or someone - else for a little while.
“What?” his friend responded with a mouthful of pancake. “It’s the three of us that are leaving today.” Billy indicated himself and the two women to his left with a wide sweep of his fork.
“We need to fuel up before heading home,” he grinned and patted his stomach. “You guys still have a whole day of frolicking in the snow before you head home. Think of us, dudes.”
Van shook his head at Billy. “Frolicking in the snow?!” he mimicked as he tried to ignore the effect that the mention of frolicking anywhere with Jake was having on him. “You are an over grown puppy, man!”
Billy just grinned at him and flipped him the finger with his free hand as he stuck a fork full of egg into his mouth. “Mmm, Jake! This is so good.”
“Nice try, Billy!” Jake chuckled as he threw a dish cloth at his friend’s head. “You still get to do the dishes.”
Later, after everything had been cleared away and the three departing friends’ bags had been packed and loaded into respective cars, they all stood in a circle, hugging and kissing their goodbyes with promises of keeping in touch and not leaving it so long next time.
As Alex reached up onto her tiptoes to kiss Van, she leaned in to whisper into his ear before they parted. “Tell him. You have to.”
Then they were gone with Billy’s departing shout of “Later, dudes! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t!” hanging in the air.
Van and Jake stood side-by-side, their arms and shoulders almost but not quite touching as they watched the cars disappear from view.
Finally, Jake turned to face Van and paused as if considering what to say.
Van hated that the friendship that had once felt so easy now felt awkward and he blamed himself for that because… well… who else was to blame?
Jake began to smile his slow burner of a smile that made Van want to either pat his cheek or grab him, slam him against the nearest wall and kiss him hard or run for cover and hide… he couldn’t decide which.
“How about we make the most of our last day? The last one to the slopes makes dinner tonight!” Jake challenged as he dashed back inside leaving Van to follow in behind him, clenching his fists and groaning in pent-up sexual tension…
…
The brilliant azure of the cloudless sky met the pristine white of the dazzling snow in a postcard perfect view that quite literally took Van’s breath away.
They had been here since Friday and each time they had ventured out onto the piste, he had never failed to be stunned by the beauty of this state.
Looking around at the scenery now, Van found himself relaxing a little. Rays of sunlight bathed everything in a cleansing light and he felt better than he had in days.
That was until he turned and saw Jake grinning at him with that wide, stupid and completely adorable and ever so sexy grin and he felt the ache hit him again with full force.
Jake was waving at him with both hands and was almost bouncing up and down with that child-like glee he always had when he was excited about something. “You have to try this run, Van! It’s amazing!” he shouted across the distance between them.
Van groaned but couldn’t help but smile back at Jake because… really… the man’s grin was infectious. He nodded and waved back before trying to get his skis pointing in the right direction.
“Come on, old guy!” Jake teased Van as he was half-way to him, making him look up sharply.
Distracted by Jake’s wide and teasing smile, Van momentarily lost control of his feet and managed to get the tips of his skis crossed.
As he fell heavily to the ground he felt something in his right knee give and a sharp pain shot through the joint.
“Fuck!” he groaned as he grasped his leg.
Moments later, he heard the whoosh of skis coming to a stop beside him and suddenly the bright sunlight was partially blocked by a tall figure.
“Shit! Van, are you ok?” Jake’s deep voice was full of concern and he heard his friend unclip his skis and kneel down next to him.
Then Jake’s hand was on his face, applying gentle pressure to get Van to look at him.
“Are you ok?”
Van wasn’t sure what was worse - the pain in his knee, the feel of Jake’s hand on him even if it was through the material of Jake’s glove or the way the intense blue was staring back at him. None of which were helping his current mood or state of mind.
“I’m fine!” he grumbled… almost snapped … as he tried to get to his feet.
“Wait! Just lie still a minute,” Jake instructed as he pushed Van down a little and moved to unclip Van’s skis before gently feeling his leg, checking for any protruding bones.
Van groaned again and closed his eyes because… really… did Jake have to keep putting his hands on him?
He had to get up and back to the lodge because Jake’s proximity was killing him.
Van needed time on his own and space to think… to calm down.
“I said I’m fine. Just let me up!” Van insisted and this time he managed to get to his feet with the aid of his ski pole and some unsolicited help from Jake.
Really! Jake had to stop touching him. Like… now!
“Let’s get you back to the lodge so we can take a look at that knee,” Jake said as he looped his strong arm around Van’s waist to offer support.
Van felt himself getting more and more uncomfortable by the minute as, despite the pain, Jake’s closeness was starting to make his body react. “I can manage,” he muttered as he pushed with his shoulder a little against Jake’s hold.
Using the ski pole as a support he tentatively put a little weight on his right leg before hobbling off in the direction of the lodge.
“Van?!” Jake’s confused voice followed him as he left the other man behind.
Van didn’t care that he could clearly hear the hurt in Jake’s voice.
He just kept on walking.
No… scratch that… he did care that the hurt was there. He did care that he’d been the one to cause it. He did care. Too fucking much. That was the problem…
Chapter 2