Reel of Fish IX (somewhat belated)

[wheeloffish]

Seriously, you guys are the worst audience ever. I can barely even keep track of what day it is aside from the little scraps of paper I keep by my bed with my schedule written on them so I know when I'm supposed to stagger to my feet and wake suicidesame to drive me to work, and no one reminded me that I'm now an extremely impressive 8 weeks behind in my

Comments

[pseudomammal]

I pestered you multiple times. You said it didn't count because it wasn't a comment on LiveJournal. A comment presumably to be posted on the very non-existent entry I was trying to get you to write, since no reasonable person expects even the most grateful audience to slog through their old friends pages in search of a place to make badly outdated pleas. A week is ancient history on the internets.

Fine. Here I am. And I retroactively demand you post this post. No more excuses, sir. No more delaying. If I haven't already read this within ten minutes of ten minutes ago, there'll be hell to pay.

[wheeloffish]

I stand by my ludicrous demands, and insist that you also clamour for more posts before I forget to do the other ... 5 I think I can do tomorrow. 5? Tomorrow? Maybe 3 tomorrow and 2 Thursday and then 2 Friday. Yes, sure. I can do that. My track record speaks for itself.

[vruba]

Oh god! You’re back! I thought you’d pulled a Bill Watterson/Alexander the Great - that the sensitive, fearless, cruelly handsome film critic at the very apex of the pinnacle of his career arc had realized there was no Hollywood left to conquer, and, shedding a very heterosexual tear, retired to Ohio to paint and fondle horses. Or fondle painted horses. But now, just as our shock was turning to despair, you have returned to us with this, this triumphant lunge into the very heart of movie criticism, turning it inside out, destroying it, inventing it all over agin. I am blessèd to have seen this, and I will never wash my eyes again.

[suicide_sam_e]

What you failed to mention about the car chase is, that although it is still a car chase, it is a very atypical Hollywood car chase. Some physics actually comes in to play several times during the course of it. The least-disappointing car chase I have seen in quite some time.

Of course, where quarantined Scots get petrol is another puzzlement entirely.

But that commenting aside,
This is a film that had to be made. Cinematic history practically foresaw the coming of this movie. It is a gestalt of the movies you mentioned, plus perhaps a few others, with all the questionable and self-justifying fatty bits trimmed off to leave a core of meaty awesome zipping straight for your audio-visual senses.

Spoiler Alert:
As a caution, DO NOT get attached to any adorable english or scottish extras. They will die. Almost everyone who does not get an explanation of their backstory dies. Sometimes pointlessly, so it is clear the director made a point to tie up any loose ends. They don't even struggle on screen - they're never coming back.

It has been more than a week?

[pairodox]

I look at the calendar and see it is almost May, but I cannot believe it.

Please give us the rest of them. I may eventually get to the dollar theatre and I need to know what I should see.

[canopy_maestro]

Our favorite critic has returned! But alas, it is too late, for Doomsday has already come! ...and gone. But I'll check it out on DVD. I've had an awful record for theater-going this year, but I've been catching up later with my pal the computer and its built-in DVD Player program. Ah, what a fantastic modern age we live in!

Have you seen The Descent? Did I ask you that already? I thought it was excellent. I'm getting Dog Soldiers right quick, so I'll check that out soon. I look forward to any reviews heading our way, and I apologize for cutting you all that slack about not posting more often. I'll be sure to return to my annoying bitchiness in the future. And I've returned to writing myself, 'cause I enjoy the roasted fleshy remains of what once was. cheers