They drug them, you know. Like racehorses.

PresidentsAnd the gladhanded hopefuls ( Read more... )

And all that the Lorax left here in this mess
was a small pile of rocks, with one word...

"UNLESS."

Whatever that meant, well, I just couldn't guess.

That was long, long ago ( Read more... )

Shit - "Edgy" comedians ain't got shit on you, George.
Piss - It pisses me off that you die and Dick Cheney gets kept alive with unholy machines.
Fuck - Fuck you, world.
Cunt - If God's a she, She's a real cunt.
Cocksucker - I can't believe that you had to get your first obituary from that cocksucker on Entertainment TonightMotherfucker - You and ( Read more... )

Click to view

Seriously, you guys are the worst audience ever. I can barely even keep track of what day it is aside from the little scraps of paper I keep by my bed with my schedule written on them so I know when I'm supposed to stagger to my feet and wake suicidesame to drive me to work, and no one reminded me that I'm now an extremely impressive 8 weeks behind in my ( Read more... )

The hell? It's March 16th already? That doesn't make any sense! How can it possibly be that far into the year? I've barely even had time to think about the vast, horrific gulf of time spreads like a pool of nothingness between the beginning and end of time in which man and all his useless works are but the flutter of a dying hummingbird! I've ( Read more... )

Why, children of the Revolution, do you make me hit you?

I don't want to hit you. I love you! But you MAKE me hit you when you do this to me!

You let me get all lazy and useless. You let me go THREE WEEKS without a single prodding comment about missing Reel of Fish! You know, Reel of Fish? The light of your life, the hop in your step, the ( Read more... )

Wow, it's almost like I don't write anything BUT these movie reviews, and they're always later than I promised they'd be! It's almost like my life is a laughable failure! Ha ha ha! Ahhh. Ha ( Read more... )

This is an important edition of Reel of Fish, and it comes only a week late ( Read more... )

Howdy, pardners ( Read more... )