Susan, you don't know me at all. i understand what it's like to be in that state where you don't really want to die, but you just can't live. i'm not sure if your depression is related to any sort of trauma, but if it is, i beg you to find an EMDR practitioner. i had one session, and it changed my life. the event that i couldn't get past is now just something that happened to me once.
forget your registryi guarantee that even if you received every present on there, you still wouldn't be happy. the best present you could ever get is peace of mind. money shouldn't be a factor. when i first got treatment, i was unemployed and broke. yes, it's good to have a support system, but ultimately, YOU are the one who has to choose to do whatever it takes to get well.
you can't look to other people, or the gifts they vould give you, or focusing on what they haven't, to "fix" the feelings you have. and you need to get help. you need to take it seriously and even if you don't love yourself enough to get some help for yourself, do it for your children, who deserve to have a mother who loves herself as much as she loves them. all the melamine bowls and lj comments in the world can't make you as happy as you should be, or as lastingly. please go. do it now.
I"m going to. There qare things I' don't remember. There are bad enough things I do. I'm going to find someone (EMDR??) to help me as soon as I hit the ass ened of TX.
You need to live for yourself. Carrying all these people on your shoulders, worrying what they will say and think, do they love you or hate you, and so on, that's a huge burden. Also, that's something to unload.
I'm sorry we were missing each other on the phones. I'll try again soon.
I may come very soon to look for a place to live. Can I hang at your pad for a couple of days? Wold you mind driving me around a bit to look at houses? I promise I won't break down crying.
You know, Stefan, one of the huge things missing from my life is wriring. The slam gave me that. YOU gave me that. I must reclaim it, because it makes me very, very happy. I must start writing again.
You can totally stay in my pad. No problem at all. I'd be happy to help you to find ahouse, etc.
Re the rest -- do you try to write don your dreams. But yourself a small portable dictaphone and, right when you wake up, speak your dream to it. Then type it down.
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i understand what it's like to be in that state where you don't really want to die, but you just can't live. i'm not sure if your depression is related to any sort of trauma, but if it is, i beg you to find an EMDR practitioner. i had one session, and it changed my life. the event that i couldn't get past is now just something that happened to me once.
forget your registryi guarantee that even if you received every present on there, you still wouldn't be happy. the best present you could ever get is peace of mind. money shouldn't be a factor. when i first got treatment, i was unemployed and broke. yes, it's good to have a support system, but ultimately, YOU are the one who has to choose to do whatever it takes to get well.
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You are a beautiful lady. Please don't let the universe make you feel otherwise.
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I'm sorry we were missing each other on the phones. I'll try again soon.
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You know, Stefan, one of the huge things missing from my life is wriring. The slam gave me that. YOU gave me that. I must reclaim it, because it makes me very, very happy. I must start writing again.
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Re the rest -- do you try to write don your dreams. But yourself a small portable dictaphone and, right when you wake up, speak your dream to it. Then type it down.
Tale care Sweetie!
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I neeed lare dose meds, I'm one of those who just doesn't respond to 3 mg of Klonopin per day.
I am also borderline agoraphobic.
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