[In the back of a taxi]
Sherlock Holmes: Okay, you've got questions.
John Watson: Yeah. Where are we going?
Sherlock Holmes: Crime scene. Next?
John Watson: Who are you? What do you do?
Sherlock Holmes: What do you think?
John Watson: I'd say private detective...
Sherlock Holmes: But...
John Watson:But the police don't go to private detectives.
Sherlock ( Read more... )

[Sherlock has just insulted Mrs. Hudson; she's run off in tears]
John Watson: Go after her and apologize.
Sherlock Holmes: Apologise? Oh John, I envy you so much.
John Watson: You envy me?
Sherlock Holmes: Your mind; it's so placid, straight-forward, barely used. Mine's like an engine, racing out of control; a rocket tearing itself to pieces, trapped ( Read more... )

Craig: Where did you learn to cook?
The Doctor: Paris in the 18th century. No, hang on, that's not recent is it? 17th? No no, 20th. Sorry, I'm not used to doing it in the right order.
Craig: Has anyone ever told you that you're a bit weird?
The Doctor: They never really stop.

Sherlock Holmes: I need to get some air; we're going out tonight.
John Watson: Actually, I've got a date.
Sherlock Holmes: What?
John Watson: It's when two people who like each other go out and have fun...
Sherlock Homes: That's what I was suggesting.
John Watson: No, it wasn't. At least, I hope not.

Sherlock Holmes: You took your time.
John Watson: Yeah, I didn't get the shopping.
Sherlock Holmes: What? Why not?
John Watson: Because I had a row... in the shop... with a chip and pin machine!
Sherlock Holmes: You had a row with a machine?
John Watson: Sort of. It sat there and I shouted abuse at it.

Sherlock Holmes: Shut up.
Detective Inspector Lestrade: I didn't say anyth -
Sherlock Holmes: You were thinking. It's annoying.

Sherlock Holmes: That's clever. Is it clever? Why is it clever?

John Watson: [upon first seeing Baker Street] Well this is a prime spot. Must be expensive.
Sherlock Holmes: Mrs. Hudson, the landlady is giving me a special deal. She owes me a favor. A few years back her husband got himself sentenced to death in Florida. I was able to help out.
John Watson: You stopped her husband from being executed?
Sherlock ( Read more... )

Sherlock Holmes: Sorry, gotta dash, I think I left my riding crop in the mortuary.

Sherlock Holmes: [Unzips a body-bag, smiles at what he sees] How fresh?
Molly Hooper: Just in, 67, natural causes. He used to work here, I knew him, he was nice.
Sherlock Holmes: Fine. We'll start with the riding crop.
[Cuts to Sherlock beating the dead body with a riding crop. He stops suddenly]
Molly Hooper: Bad day was it?
Sherlock Holmes: I need to ( Read more... )