Somewhere between the ages of 15 and 19 a profound change occured. They weren't just physical, they weren't just events. This change was somewhat intangiable. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. There was too much sex, too many drugs,too much everything to ever stop and really try and figure it out. I stopped writing for part of those years, ( Read more... )

I've been taking my medication the right way for a while now and I had hoped it would make me comfortably numb. No such luck. I still feel bruised and bleeding, encased in a too tight wrapper. Like meat from the butcher. Its all a question of milligrams. How much would set me right and how little will make me crazy. 40 mgs here, 5 there, it all ( Read more... )

I've been thinking alot lately...about all the things i'm terrible at. Like saving money and being married. And then I start to add up all the things i can't do. Like overcome my eating disorder, be a good friend, be brave and not just hide under the covers. But I just can't. Its impossible.

Why oh why did you have to kiss me goodbye last night? It only made me feel like I was falling in love with you all over again. Also I post in 2_lines way too often. But its easier to post there than to talk to people.

June 15th, I'm moving out of this shit hole

My lower back hurts, not because i slept wrong but because i think the infection has taken up residence in my kidneys.My new years resolution, not to be so fucking stubborn about going to the doctor...even if the medications makes me sick

I have tonsilitis and the flu, mostly just tonsilitis. It looks like little cancerous white growths. and its the very last thing I need right now, with finals this week and wedding invitations to send out and $50 in library fines to pay off.

Sometimes I think maybe we never should have gotten involved but I know that would have been impossible. 
We've always been wrapped up in each other, ever since we first met. 
We just didn't know it then.

Thats why I can never leave you, because you're my other half.
I hate you for that.
Because even now, that I've met someone that I love and need more ( Read more... )

Way back when we started dating, we told each other secrets. Our multitude of sins spilled out over dark nights in parks and in your car. I told you about the times way back when I was sophomore and doodling your name in my notebook. Now a few years later all we do it fight and all I tell you are lies. About who i've been hanging out with and what ( Read more... )

We didn't go on our first date and last date until about a month after we met. Our first real date anyways.He took me out for sushi and I felt like it was the first of many moments. God, I was so wrong.The night I met him, I was hanging out with my ex-boyfriend. He'd had to work late but picked me up at the movie theatres around nine. We drove to ( Read more... )