My sister got hit by a truck. Her neck, back, skull and collarbone are broken. My girlfriend broke up with me because "she didn't want to be in a relationship for the last month of college" (*cough slut cough*) and I just can't seem to get the fuck out of sarasota county. Oh well. At least I'll have a fucking degree at the end of the summer.

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http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/4627679.stm

Today at work I jackhammered a 1000lb stone penis into cock-rubble. It was so awesome. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Recently the owner of the Brownstone, an AWESOME pub downtown, died. As a result, it will be going out of business in short order. There is, however, a way we might be able to save it. A group of local buisnessmen want to save the brownstone. They've got the money. They just need to know that it will be missed. If we show our support, we might be ( Read more... )

I'm afraid of Americans.
I'm afraid of the world.
This article says it all.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4579477.stm

I had/have bronchitis. It's pretty lame. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I've been sick for a few weeks now. I have enough antibiotics to kill an army of cats. In other news, I am going to be in Sarasota forever. Or at least for the summer. Whichever one ends first. I started my summer job, and it's pretty cool as far as jobs go. It's weird ( Read more... )

I've gotten 6 prank calls from the same phone number in the past 2 days. They keep pretending to be a hispanic woman, with the last name bologna, who is looking for the bologna store. When I called it back, it sounded like a scared little boy answered it. I plan to prank them back. So if you get a phone call from Codwater Bigglebottoms, don't be ( Read more... )

http://www.people.virginia.edu/~bmg8c/4600399.htm I can't believe it's real. But it is.

I recently managed to lose my voice. If you see it around, please bring it back. I need it for thursday. Thank you.