can some1 please explain to me why one of the nicest kindest men i have ever known is slowly dying a painful death while a man who i am pretty sure is the spawn of satan and the very definition of all things evil is living a perfectly happy life

how sad is it that one of the people to have the biggest impacts on my life is not one of my friends or family members but a past teacher who should rot in the inner most part of hell for what he did to me and is probably still doing to other girls like me.

im proud of him really i am-i mean come on he is like one of my best friends

but watching him fly while i fall is never easy

i mean i love him to death dont get me wrong but this has gone on for long enough in my mind

im just sick of having to walk on egg shells

so mom just called me fat and then in the same breath asked if I wanted seconds.

mixed messages much

i dont deserve anything less then the pain i feel now

"i'm scared i need to go away... good-bye love good bye love just came to say good-bye love good-bye love"

so this might be it-i cant live like this

i cant live off the scraps of them she leaves behind for me. i cant play 2nd fiddle to her anymore. and i cant stay and watch them forget me

i wonder if susan will still let me do her show even if i leave deis

my mom: it will all work out in the end
me: but what if it does not?
my mom: then it is not the end

just thought i share that with everyone who needs a little hope in their life

its really over now

how long till cfs 2009?

this is not gonna b as easy as i thought