HE NEVER BELIEVES ME!

It's true. It's annoying. But it's true.

I haven't written in so long. Usually it means good things have been happening ( Read more... )

At the end of September, I fell into a deep depression that nearly stripped me of everything. The period of time was not particularly long, the worst of it lasted only about a month. Now, at the beginning of November, I am feeling better. Some days I actually feel pleasure, instead of just nothing at all. Still there are moments when I revert ( Read more... )

Saw the local counselor today from school. We talked about what I wanted out of a therapeutic relationship and what is to be addressed with my lifestyle. I can't really think that well at the moment, and when I was in there, there were some ackward moments when she would ask me a question and I just got kind of anxious because I couldn't answer ( Read more... )

Vince came into my life and grew into my heart. For some reason he makes me feel as if I can love, and though we are both cautious people, I am so fond of him. I felt during the last little while that I was falling in love, and I knew that he was reluctant to admit that in himself, but I hoped and felt that he felt the same. Last night he told ( Read more... )

This morning I woke up feeling horrible, I could hardly breathe. I've been dreaming, I forget about what now, but I remember I dreamt about killing myself. At least, in my dream I was trying to ( Read more... )

I found myself crippled with the night and the darkness, and the failures of my own hopes to bring light.  I find i could not stand nor think nor breathe, and there is none I wanted to seek out, nothing to comfort me.  Then, when i know the world offers me no hope, I looked to the Bible as an ultimate source of instructions, and I prayed...then ( Read more... )

irritable or easily amused. Laughed so hard today. So tired but not sleepy. Never really sleepy except around 10:30 or 11 when i fall asleep for 1 hour or less. can't concentrate, can't remember, can't focus

Ahhhhh, I am saddened by the fact that it's so late in the night, or so early in the morning, and everything reminds me that I want to be up and doing what I might want to do later. That I have all the options in the world right now, and perhaps all the time, but I have nothing to do! And nothing but hope for things I could not have. That's words ( Read more... )

Am I losing my cohesion again? Fade in fade out, wink in wink out, turn on turn off. Scenes. So many things to piece together.