I could not say "Goodbye ( Read more... )

I am more than good. It seems every breath that gets drawn out of me is pleasure. Pleasure in the chest. Pleasure in the adbomen. Pleasure in my legs ( Read more... )

Last little while I've been so good. Almost like I'm aging softly into comfort. Maybe I've put behind me a whole kind of life ( Read more... )

I lost something I really really want to have. And I want it back. But I want it back so bad that I let the worldly matters overcome me, and I lost faith, and I think because I lost faith I can't find it back ( Read more... )

It was not just tonight, but the other night too - an overwhelming sense of sadness ( Read more... )

It is 1:57am, and I am overcome by an incredibly deep sense of sadness. I don't call it sorrow, which is slow and sticks to you at the core half hidden. I don't call it pain, it is not so outright. This comes out of the blue, with no real meaning, and no real reason. Perhaps it's because I feel lately the burden of my work - or rather, lack of ( Read more... )

My last entry started off as if I was going yet into another period of the same old - but it never really happened. Not with blazing glory like in the past. These days it almost feels like a part of me has been lobotomized. But not with a dull ache that I know is there - here it is something missing, and I am too incapacitated to feel its loss ( Read more... )

It has been so long since I have felt that my strength can face the possibility of wavering. Ever since the end of February I've deliberately taken on so much things to do that I would not have the time to reflect too deeply on myself. I never did find the need to contemplate much, never once dissatisfied, never once did I find my will to be ( Read more... )

Today was our Church's 15 year anniversary...and the youth group according to Wei is really putting up a fire. I hear that the testimonials by Peter moved Peter, Tony, Xander and the others to tears. I wasn't there tonight though...sadly enough, I admit I was at Oscar tv night with Vince ( Read more... )

Life seems too long, sometimes. When things are right in my head, things are wrong in the world. I don't know if this is coordinated so that I can survive the worst and then suffer some more later ( Read more... )