the heat is horrible!!! that being said, i just dont feel like myself...whatever that is. i just want to run thru the biggest panel of glass i can find. i want to just slice thy flesh to shreds. trying to stay positive but thy mind doth wander...for the most part i am happy, but then bam the sad hits like a semi. quickly as it hits, its gone. due ( Read more... )

1. The phone rings; who do you want it to be ( Read more... )

trying to move on...not always easy. sometimes i dont feel like i can go on...but somehow i do. i guess that old saying "keep on trucking" is true...you just have to keep on going done the highway of life. even with all the detours and construction.

its been quite a bit since i posted. havent felt the need to, to be honest. but in the last 24 hrs ive cut myself in 2 separate incidents. it all started with waking up feeling like i was hit by a semi. i was fine til i got to work and after talking with my manager abt the district manager, i started to get angry( i dont get angry that often) i ( Read more... )

been trying to get thru the holiday season as adjusted as possible. everyday has been a struggle to not slice thru all the internal pain...and i feel like i'm getting closer to that end...i want to see the blood spill from within...i just don't want to have to explain why i want to...i know that if i actually verbalize what is in my head it makes ( Read more... )

lets see...i took my car in to be inspected....it got rejected, so i got just about everything fixed that was on the list, so i take it in to be reinspected...come to find out my exhaust is bad, just had a new one put on less than a year ago or so i thought and i also find out that i have a small gas leak thats been there since at least the first ( Read more... )

1. The phone rings; who do you want it to be ( Read more... )

well, i somehow made it thru thanksgiving & christmas/yule without breaking down. so thats a good sign,right? i have a really hard time during the holidays, they have never been the greatest. family of origin has always made them chaotic and miserable, at least this year i didnt have to hide away. it was only the three of us (Mom,Jack & Me) so it ( Read more... )

well for the past week or so, my mood has been going steadily down hill. ive been sleeping 12 to 14 hours a day. all i want to is stay in bed under the covers. i dont want to go out and work is beginning to be the last thing on my mind. the urge to si is getting stronger by the minute, i dont want to hold out any longer. just to give in would feel ( Read more... )

well its been a bit since i last posted on here. for the most part im doing ok. i just feel like im due to go down soon. the urges are starting to come back after being at bay for most of the summer. when the days get shorter i just want to crawl within and not deal with the world at large. i dont know if i can keep this all from crashing down on ( Read more... )