& it's like any effort I do put in goes to waste, but you can't trust Ryan to get anything done professionally.

it's hard to think that the good can outweigh the bad when the bad becomes so crushing and takes over. the bad is more prominent than the good right now, that's for sure.

but people are concerned even though I haven't gone to them for help. they come to me. that makes me cry so hard. THEY come to ME.

Ive never relied on people like this. I hate ( Read more... )

late at night, worried again. i have a neurologist appt tomorrow, after a few months of general bloodwork at a regular doctor where everything turned up normal. i dont know if i want them to find something tmrw, (so i know what's been causing these random pains and everything) or not (because i dont want it to be something bad). im tired of being ( Read more... )

I'm sick of people thinking that they know what's best for me.

What's best for me is to have my own ideas and thoughts, go with them, and make mistakes.
You don't know me well enough to try to tell me what to do.

i feel like i was really starting to get my life in order in GR. i sort of knew who i was, knew where i wanted to be, who i wanted in my life, what was important and how to get to it. now, im starting from point A all over again on the east side and i HATE it. i guess it's time to re-evaluate again ( Read more... )

other life goal: own a ms pac man machine

I've never felt so alone in my life.

im so willful.

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-505263_162-57371762/josh-powell-kids-die-in-alleged-murder-suicide/

moment of silence for this. makes you question a lot.

i'm tired of people telling me how to live my life and making me question and over-analyze what could be simple feelings. i don't WANT a boyfriend, i'd prefer to do things on my own for now. what is so wrong about that? that's just how it is ( Read more... )