I've taught myself the Italian hand gesture for "I fucked your wife and you're raising my child." That is all.

 It is with a heavy heart that I announce that I am leaving my post as resident drunk/poet/debaucher/brawler/critic/hater/bayou beast of New Orleans. As of the 31st of this month, I shall be packing my station wagon with my belongings and trekking back up to the mountains of Tennessee.  I can say with confidence that my position shall quickly be ( Read more... )

 iwl.com is a website that tells you who you write like. Like everything on the internet, it's a lie but, hey it's fun.

Apparently, I write like David Foster Wallace.

ATTENTION ALL FOREIGN BACKPACKERS WHO ARE CURRENTLY VISITING NEW ORLEANS ( Read more... )

 Just confirming what I already know.   http://lightlybuzzed.com/2010/03/usa-cities-ranked-by-penis-size-infographic/

"So, man, we're friends,"
That phrase never ends well.
"Y'know I'm not from here,"
That phrase never ends well either.

"Why do you guys
(by guys, he meant
white boys) talk
like.."

Fill in your own blanks.
Some asshole from 
Minnesota who should have left
last week.

Never
before
felt
unity in
the south.

Punch the clock. Too scared to punch your boss ( Read more... )

Alright, well, here's the beast I've been working on. tl;dr, punks.

Turn Down the Alley and Walk Slowly.

“Twenty minutes from now, She has red
hair and stares out
the window at where the stars
are shining behind orange
sherbet clouds. She’s been staring
out that window for
about a minute. Now,
we’re on a bench on a bridge
above the river reflecting orange
( Read more... )

Remember that Revelation/Revolution.
http://www.welcometohr.com/wp-content/uploads/mosh1.jpg

Who wants to see eyehategod with me on the 5th?

http://i.imgur.com/DAONU.jpg

TA-DAAAA!!!