[hexi]

[winewomenand]

The best part about the spring is the fact that all of you gender dimorphic types are gearing up to sow your wild oats. All of you. No matter how much you may avoid the very topic, you're just as much a part of nature as all of the horny rabbits and birds and bees and whatever around you. You can try to deny it, but in the end all any of you are is

Comments

[cal_sitter]

The CDC recommends avoiding pucks during this season for the protection of one's mental health.

[winewomenand]

Come on. Give me a little credit. I haven't done anything in public here yet that they wouldn't let on cable television after two o'clock in the morning.

For the record, I feel as if you should know that you lost out on what you probably thought was a clever ploy, for a baby like yourself. The amount and type of liquor I saved from half-broke bottles was at least three times the payroll expense you would have had to pay me to work the hours I did. If someone like me would ever accept a non-salaried position, anyway.

[cal_sitter]

Allowing you to salvage the alcohol was a cost-saving measure. The product was already a loss as Lux would have been unable to sell it, but the loss has been mitigated by the fact that you, Robin Goodfellow, worked without incurring any payroll expenses.

Were I remarkably fortunate, you would use that alcohol to good purpose and pass out on the couch before you had a chance to scandalize the public.

[winewomenand]

But did work for a form of barter payment so we are agreed that I don't do volunteerism on account of not believing in social responsibility or responsibility in general.

Were you remarkably fortunate, you would be me. As it is, the universe hates your little blond head and the only substance I'm abusing today is a bottle of tanning oil.

[playstheblues]

The only thing I'm creating today are safety latches for the liquor.

[winewomenand]

Problems, Boy Blue?

It's nice weather for it. Flirting, I mean.

[playstheblues]

The quake yesterday broke a bunch of the bar's glass.

[winewomenand]

Don't look at me. I've done my fair share of mopping already. By lower back is still killing me, all that repetitive movement, all that drudgery.

You wouldn't happen to know how to give a massage though, would you?

[banditfox]

The flowers go about it more gracefully than you do, Robin.

[winewomenand]

The flowers only go about it more stealthily. The only difference is that my gonads are much larger. Otherwise they ought to get arrested for indecent exposure as well.

[banditfox]

The flowers don't have to shout to find a partner.

[winewomenand]

The flowers have crap standards.

[monsterbaiting]

I think I want to sneeze.

[winewomenand]

You can do it in my face if that's what gets you off.

[monsterbaiting]

I know this sounds crazy but it really doesn't.

[winewomenand]

Are you a virgin? Because you come off to me as a virgin, but I can't quite tell if it's your natural prudishness or the lack of a warm masculine figure in your younger life. And this is unusual for me, because I'm normally good at sussing out a young woman of single blessedness.

[adamantined]

Wow.

[winewomenand]

The laconic poet arrives.

[adamantined]

I didn't want to show up the sex ed teacher, which, by the way, I'm starting to think that's all you think about.

[winewomenand]

I think about other things. Sleep, coffee, money, food, cinema, couture, larceny, how much better off I was three years ago.