OK, false alarm. So, that chapter I wrote a couple of days ago? Fugedaboudit. My actual summer project has arrived! Warning: Plot subject to change/nonsense/historyfail/Russians/dinosaurs/gay subtext/elephant mounted lasers. Let's go!

( Chapter 1, mothertruckers! )

OK, OK, TM-fucking-I like whoa ahead. I'm just deeply confused by what just happened and need to discuss this.

( Seriously, this is kinda gross. Funny and perplexing, but gross. )

So. Beginning of a theoretical novel. Would you continue with a book that began like this?

( It's about morons! Drunken morons! )

Onmiyoji is the best film series in the history of ever. Because of Japanese mythology fail. Because of fantastic mancrushes. Because of ridiculous special effects. But most of all? Because of melons.

Seriously, it's campy and ridiculous and the lead is a hot kabuki actor. DO IT.

So. Just pointing out that Locke seriously needs to stop dating Catwoman. And by "Catwoman", I mean "Ben". And by "dating", I mean "listening to". Jesus H. Christ, will he never work that out? I hope to God that when Ben wakes, up, Locke smacks the everloving shit out of him. Or at least gives him a disapproving glare. Anything but the "Oh, ( Read more... )

You guys? You guys, I can't even begin to tell you.

Like, have you ever witnessed something you could never hope to explain to anyone else? Something that was so strange, so out of left field that you couldn't even begin to wrap your mind around it?

Executive Koala is that something. ( HOLY SHIT, YOU GUYS. )

So, it may shock y'all, but it turns out that there are a lot of quite excellent cannibal movies out there. There's Silence of the Lambs, which is classic, and terrifying, and made of Anthony Hopkins-shaped WIN. There's Cannibal: The Musical, which is filled with belly-shaking, tear-inducing, bladder-weakening hilarity from start to finish. But ( Read more... )

And suddenly, the world is a little less hot.

And, just to give you all mood whiplash, Happy Belated Holidays, flist!

TOGETHER WE CAN TAKE IT TO THE END OF THE LINE ( Read more... )

You guys? I saw Twilight, you guys.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA.