(Untitled)

[winged_human]

I couldn't help it. I had to steal this one.

Let's get creative kids...
Pretend we're dating.
Please write a fake break-up letter to me.
Include whatever fake excuses you want in it. Make it good.

I will try and break up with everyone who breaks up with me

Comments

I'm breaking up with you.

[kellyfaerie]

Dear John

AGGH!

[its_a_monkey]

Dear John,

I think we have only been dating for a short time, its all been sort of hazy. But I have to tell you, now that I'm thinking clearly, that I've just realized that you are not the woman of my dreams. In fact, you are not a woman at all. You are horrible, I cannot believe that you would stoop so low as to Lie to me. You told me that the bag was full of skittles, when apparently the bag was full of something that has been imparing my judgement up to this day. I want you to know that if I ever see you again it will be too soon. Do not call me, Do not come around my home. If you and I are even on speaking terms again, I will have to refer to you as a Fucking Cock Sucking Liar.

Until we see each other again. I hope you have a long life.

So Long, You Fucking Cock Sucking Liar!!!

Dear John

[syns_secret]

Dear John,

I'm sorry but this no longer can work....I have tried everything to make it work even adding an new holes. And the new holes aren't even enough anymore. Maybe in the beginning, but now it's just too hard for me.

I never thought it would come down to this. Especially the way things are between us now. I thought I could handle it. I thought I could deal with it, but I can't. It's really too much for me.

I have never had this happen to me before. But they say you must always try right? The redness was minimal and the irritation was only bothersome. Every thing was great, until the itching started. Everytime I itch it brings back all the memories of what happened and I cry.

But now I have irritaion and redness, it hurts John, a lot. So, I have to do what I have to do. And I'm sorry if it hurts, but believe me when I say it hurts me a lot more.

I have to give you the earrings back. Thanks, but I can't really wear them. Be assured it was thoughtful though.

Sincerely,

Jill

P.S. By the way, I'm breaking up with you.

[theonenonlyrach]

John,

And to think, this whole time you had three other people you were seeing? How was I to know? You don't even deserve the "dear" in "Dear John".

And you know that I am not comfortable using that, there with you. Normally when you do that, you go to a man for the pleasure. But not me. I will not be a tool in your bedside dresser drawer any longer! And to think, you didn't even have the consideration to get the banana flavored, scented with a french tickle. I thought I was in love with you, but my gastroenterologist told me that I just had gas.

If I gave a shit about this anymore, you would be the first person I'd give it to. Because you had the audacity to ask me to sleep with your "others" too? Why? Why me? Just a doll you bring out every now in then when you need it...well, trust me, all you need is a donut and a good five seconds.

It's over,
Rachel

P.S.: It's not that common, it doesn't happen to every guy, and it is a big deal!!!

[just__watch]

John,

You suck cock worse than my sister, give me back the fiver I gave you. It wasn't worth even that. By the way, you might want to get a box of RID. Just thought you should know.

Fuck off.